Flip Your Script: Reset Your Mindset w/Gratitude [Radio Interview]

It's been said that your mindset is like the steering wheel of your life. In which direction is your mindset taking you? Is it where you want to go? You can learn how to be more mindful and take on an Attitude of Gratitude to be more resilient in response to life’s ups and downs.

During today's interview by Bernadette Boas with Shedding the B**ch Radio, I presented my top strategies to help you:

• Bounce back after a breakdown and get your mindset back on track so you are open to pursue new opportunities
• Apply gratitude principles to lessen your negative “self-talk”
• Use mindfulness techniques to counteract your limiting beliefs

I also shared my thoughts on how giving back / paying it forward can help you create an abundance mindset. 

Listen to the podcast and let me know how YOU will adopt an Attitude of Gratitude in November -- this month of Thanksgiving.

Flip Your Script: Reset Your Mindset w/ Gratitude w/ Colette Ellis 11/03 by Bernadette Boas | Self Help Podcasts

5 Unexpected Tips to Beat Your Holiday Stress

'Tis the season to be jolly. If you're seeking ideas on how to ease into the holiday season and lessen your stress, read on for 5 Unexpected Tips to Beat Your Holiday Stress!

1. Recognize your holiday stress triggers: A stress trigger is an incident that causes either a negative physical (e.g., headache, cold, or pain) or emotional response (e.g., anxiety, insomnia, or sadness). The holiday challenge is that stress triggers can be associated with family and personal relationships, or finances. What are your holiday triggers? A dreaded encounter or perhaps the absence of a loved one? Concerns about your holiday shopping list or travel? Becoming aware is your first step to lessening your stress.
2. Be willing to let go of past resentments: Once you've identified your triggers, consider viewing them from a NEW perspective. If you're already dreading an encounter, try imagining that your experience will NOT be negative.  Set an intention to approach the person with a positive outlook, and not allow their comments or behaviors to affect your stress level. 
3. Seek out lower-cost holiday options (e.g., "grab bags," "Secret Santa’s," or “potluck” dinners): If your trigger is your finances, be honest with yourself and your family about what you can and cannot take on this year. Focus your attention on how great it will feel to spend time with those whom you love. Infuse yourself with the true holiday spirit of loving and sharing!
4. Tune in to your holiday self-talk: We all have a running script of "self-talk." These are unconscious thoughts about finances, relationships, or goals that occur when you're stressed or overwhelmed. Coach yourself to flip your script for a more positive outlook. When you notice a negative thought, tell yourself to STOP! Take a deep breath, think of a positive statement, and reflect. Think of as many positive ideas that show the negative perspective is NOT true. 
5. Give yourself holiday ME-TIME: With the hustle and bustle, it can be easy to forget your needs. Build time into your holiday schedule just for you. Take on a new physical activity; or social activity, like volunteering to help others in need. Sharpen your mental abilities with a new book; unplug from your devices. Create more space in your mind for holiday joy!

This year has been a year of many changes for me, some of which I've not yet shared with you. Looking back, I'm thankful for all of the expected AND unexpected blessings that 2014 has brought me. For example, I literally have a new looking-glass through which to view the world, my new living space! Now, I'm looking forward to spending time with my parents and extended family over the holiday season.

What are YOU most thankful for? How will YOU beat your holiday stress? Comment here or tweet me on Twitter. Happy Thanksgiving!!

NEW Podcast: How to Love Yourself More in 2012

As we get closer to Valentine's Day, it seems as if LOVE is in the air. This day can be a source of great joy for some, while for others it can be a source of stress and anxiety. So, I decided to kick off 2012 with a podcast to help you manifest more (self) love this year.

The idea of loving yourself often seems cliché. We throw the phrase around, but do we really understand what it means? As you know, LOVE was one of my 3 Words of 2011. And, even I'll admit that my focus more often than not was externally focused -- to attract more love into my life. It does leads one to wonder: Do we actually know how to love ourselves? On the other hand, do we even know what the process of self-love looks like?

Tune into this informative podcast with Jasmin Terrany, founder of JasminBalance.com. By combining traditional psychotherapy, life coaching and eastern practices, such as mindfulness and meditation, she helps her clients feel supported and inspired as they overcome barriers and blocks to fully loving themselves.

In the podcast, Jasmin explains her “love tank” theory, and provides tips to help you fully love and accept yourself just as unique and special as you are! She also shares more info on an upcoming Winter Rejuvenation Workshop she's offering to kickoff V-Day weekend on Saturday, February 11 here in NYC.

After you listen to the podcast, I'd love hear what's your biggest insight on your journey to greater self-love and acceptance? Comment here on the blog or tweet me your thoughts on Twitter.

How to Position Yourself in a Tight Job Market

Yesterday, I offered insights to participants at Tory Johnson's Women for Hire NY Career Expo in a Power Seminar on How to Position Yourself in a Tight Job Market. I thought I'd share some of the pointers from my talk here on the blog. I still believe that today's market provides an opportunity for you to reevaluate your priorities and refresh your game plan. So, in essence, my tips on positioning yourself in the market are more internally than externally focused.

We know that in today's New Normal keeping your head down, doing your work and just hoping that your efforts will get recognized won't help you land your next major job or business opportunity. I've spoken before about the value in developing 20/10 Vision: the ability to see things clearly at 20-feet that other people can only see from 10-feet away. It means developing your own bird's eye view of your target market, industry or opportunity.

Here are Four Steps to Develop Your 20/10 Career Vision. They are aligned with the steps in my eBook Focus on Your Vision.

1. Clear Your Lens: Remove Distractions -- Get centered and refocus on what's most important. Track your schedule over the next three (3) days to see how you REALLY spend your time, and begin to recognize the times of day when you're most productive. Why? Because then you'll be clear about when it makes sense to do your market/industry research; when to make "warm" calls to your champions and advisors; and when to make "cold" calls to industry leaders for informational interviews. Every company and industry has its own unique characteristics. In today's New Normal, you need to be an investigative reporter who explores and uncovers all the relevant issues, trends and opportunities.
2. Reveal Your True Intentions: Figure Out What You REALLY Want -- Revealing your true intentions can make it easier to choose between competing careers, jobs, tasks, and industries. Have you created a crystal clear vision of the type of job you want, the level of income you desire, the work environment in which you'll thrive, the qualities in your ideal manager or team? Do you know the values that reflect your personal attitude and work ethic? The more you know about your motivators, strengths, and values the easier it will be to attract opportunities that truly inspire you to perform.
3. Envision Your Future: Visualize Your Dream Job -- Imagine your world as it will be when you've landed your dream job -- do this proactively and consistently. What is your next best role? Write down positive affirmations of what you'll be able to do, what you will have accomplished once you've secured this position. Keep visual reminders to stay motivated -- create a vision board with inspirational images and quotes that reflect your dream job and ultimate lifestyle. Review it often.
4. Watch for Blind Spots: FLIP Your Script -- Even with the best laid plans, you will encounter setbacks -- both external roadblocks and even situations where you might get in your own way. My clients have told me about past situations where their inertia or indecisiveness led to missed opportunities. Listen to the things you say to yourself about your career, your job, and your chances of achieving your carer goals. How many are positive vs. negative? When you hear yourself repeating negative messages, say "STOP!" and replace the thought or message with a more positive statement. Do what you can to flip your script to get back on track to visualizing your dream job and ultimate lifestyle.

Let me know your thoughts and reactions, and also share your own success stories and tips -- here on the blog or tweet me @Coach_Colette.

Coach Colette Gets 'Savvy' About Self-Awareness

Here is a video featuring my appearance on Brooklyn Savvy TV to discuss ideas in my Focus on Your Vision eBook. Watch as show host and co-executive producer Toni Williams, along with her Savvy panel of women, prompt me to share tips on how you can become more self-aware, flip the script on your negative inner dialogue to help you achieve your BIGGEST dreams.



Brooklyn Savvy allows viewers to participate in substantive and intimate conversations about issues that impact women. Conversations are reminiscent of what you'd have with a close group of friends -- led by a panel of culturally, ethnically diverse of women who share their own insights, perspectives and challenges.

Brooklyn Savvy shows air every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month on Cablevision 69, Time Warner 56, RCN 84 and Verizon 44 in New York City.

Stress in the City: Is Cuddling the Answer?

Forbes recently released its report on America's Most Stressful Cities. Topping the list for the second year in a row is Chicago -- followed by Los Angeles, New York, Cleveland, and Providence, RI.


Life factors considered in the study of 40 of America's largest metro areas were:

1. Unemployment figures (Bureau of Labor Statistics - June 2009)
2. Cost of living figures (Council for Community and Economic Research)
3. Median home price declines (National Association of Realtors - 2008-2009)
4. Population density (US Census)
5. Number of sunny and/or partly sunny days (NES-DIS - 2007)
6. Air quality figures (US EPA - 2007)

As a native New Yorker, I can appreciate our ranking in the Top 5 of metro areas. However, you know that I'm a big proponent of finding creative, proactive ways to manage your stress. A lot of this has to do with your self-perception and self-talk.

Most of the life factors on the list are not things we can actively control -- EXCEPT that we do have a choice about where we live. In today's tight job market, you may challenge me on that a bit. "I HAVE to live here because of my job." But, remember, once you start to view your situation in terms of what you "HAVE" to do, you've already given yourself an extra burden of stress. The choice still exists; hopefully you're able to choose your best option at the particular moment in time.

From the career/job search perspective, I've written before about the value of focusing on the things you can control - your physical and online career presence, and your marketing collateral.

From the personal wellness perspective, I've written about the importance of flipping the script to create a more positive viewpoint. That may mean changing how you think about your situation, letting go of the "SHOULDs", or allowing space for things to be less than perfect. [I know, the horror!]

Social supports are important, too. One interesting link in the article was to a video about a new trend of hosting Cuddle Parties. Apparently taking heed of the value of physical touch in reducing stress, these parties have been held in the New York and San Francisco areas.

Would you attend (have you attended) a Cuddle Party? Comment here or tweet me your response and to share other ways you deal with stress.

Change Your Thoughts to Spring Into Success

Believe it or not, Spring arrives on Friday. Are you ready?

As the seasons change and the temperatures get warmer, are you thinking about ways to get back in shape? And, perhaps, have you started to feel guilty for the "comfort" foods you ate during the winter months? If so, STOP the negative thoughts and flip the script now!

I invite you to tune in to a new podcast I've published with Cynthia Stadd, a holistic nutrition and healthy life coach and founder of Cynfully Healthy. It's called No More Brain Candy: Change Your Thoughts, Improve Your Health. We talk about how your thought patterns connect to your overall health and wellbeing.

This year has been a period of transition for many of us - whether it's been a change in your employment status, business growth/revenue, or personal relationships. And, if you've spent time during the winter "hibernating" a bit from the elements, it can be easy to get trapped in feelings of anger, guilt or frustration.

Take care - as we enter the second quarter, you may be "should-ing" all over yourself - I should be farther ahead by now; or I should have accomplished more of my goals by now. If so, STOP the "should-ing" and flip the script now! It may have a negative impact on your health. As Cynthia and I discuss on the podcast, even if negative/self-doubting thoughts aren't centered around food or body image, they can still create bad habits such as "mindless eating."

• Take advantage of the Spring to get a change of scenery - can you eat lunch outside, take walks in your neighborhood, or visit local parks on the weekends?
• Think about one important goal. Take some time to envision what it will be like when you have achieved it. It’s important to create a clear vision of your success.
• Keep the image/feeling in your mind and make at least one positive, affirming statement about it. By defining and articulating your success, you’ll help to attract the resources you’ll need to make it a reality.

And, if you're still a little skeptical -- after you listen to the podcast, you may want to read a related article by Darrin Steen called What You Think & Speak Can End Your Life or Save It. He probably doesn't mean to be so dramatic ... or does he? Share your comments and thoughts here or tweet me on Twitter.

The Coach is In ... but Should I be?

After attending the BlogHer conference and hearing about the benefits of keeping it real on my blog, I'm deciding to share this quick anecdote.

So, it's about 6:30 pm EDT and I'm still in the office. Not late by any stretch of the imagination ... especially for a business owner. But, the reason is that a previously-scheduled meeting with a colleague was cancelled due to a family emergency. Why am I sharing? Because I actually felt guilty about shutting down / closing shop -- even though I'm prepared for my client meeting tomorrow afternoon.

Sure, there are many other things on my plate for NEXT week (a combo of prep for presentations, trainer interviews, meetings and even a quick out-of-county trip). What was my aha moment? I wouldn't have been able to do any of those things tonight because I would have been focusing on meeting with my colleague! So, why did I feel compelled to keep working when this time had already been "booked?"

Why couldn't I re-assign this time to ME-TIME? There was this tiny voice inside my head (we talk about self-talk in the Stress Management program) saying: "Maybe you can get ahead and do a little more." When, honestly, the thought of editing my presentation at this moment seems daunting because I'm not as fresh with ideas as I know I can be.

Last night on Life Coach TV, Marianna and I talked about ways to find balance. I've blogged here before about the challenges of "unplugging." And, I talk with Simone and her listeners on Own Your Power about ME-TIME. If nothing else, this proves to you that no one (not even your coach) is perfect. We all struggle to juggle our responsibilities.

Ok, so after this, I'm going to print a couple of invoices and then sign off ... promise! :)