My Vision for Tomorrow + How I'm Making It a Reality

Last night, the Centre for Social Innovation hosted its annual fundraiser. The theme was Make Tomorrow | Create a Better World.The CSI community consists of over 250 social entrepreneurs working to make our dreams of a better world come to life.

Here is a photo of me with our Agents of Change cohort at the fundraiser.

The public lobby of the IAC Building has two tiled video walls that provide an interactive experience of imagery display. Capitalizing on this innovative feature, CSI asked all of its members to describe our vision for tomorrow and how our social innovation is making that vision a reality. Our impact number (some metric or outcome measure of our work) along with a headshot and collage of pictures were displayed on the video wall during the event.

This is a phone capture of my headshot on the video wall.

I thought you might like to read my responses to the questions for my Social Impact Innovator Profile. I answered from the perspective of Start Within Coaching, the new brand umbrella that encompasses my coaching, EFT work, and public events/workshops for women.

My Organization Mission:

Start Within Coaching seeks to disrupt the conversation around self-worth and self-esteem for women of color. Motivated by Sustainable Development Goal # 3.4, we promote women's mental health and wellbeing via live and virtual workshops, events, and coaching programs. 

My Vision of Tomorrow:

To reduce the percentage of black women who live with feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, and/or that everything is an effort all of the time. For the last point, nearly twice as many non-Hispanic Black women felt this way in 2014, compared to their non-Hispanic White counterparts (9.9% vs. 5.8%). More than just the absence of a disorder, true mental health is a state of wellbeing in which a woman can realize her own potential, cope with the normal stresses of life, work productively, and make a contribution to the community. "Tomorrow," women of color will feel a sense of worthiness; they will know that their dreams, their health, and their overall lives matter. Start Within to Finish Strong!

My Social Impact:

In 2017, we hosted 10 New Moon Circles at CSI designed for women to create supportive relationships with other women, and to receive rejuvenation and support (via Guided Heart Meditations, Intention-Setting Rituals, and other wellness activities). Other public workshops and events focus on topics including Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT-Tapping), Self-Care Strategies, and Stress Management. Through private coaching, we map out personalized strategies for women to enhance their interpersonal communication, leadership style, and personal wellbeing.

When I Joined CSI:

October, 2016

Impact of CSI on Me / My Organization:

Since joining, I've become an Agents of Change Fellow, which has connected with more female founders who are committed to improving the status of women and girls globally. I've also been a founding member of the Women's Lab at CSI, an experiment in creating a safe haven space for female founders and their mission-driven organizations. I have hosted my New Moon Circles at CSI.

What is YOUR Vision for Tomorrow?
How are YOU Making it a Reality?

Are You a Truthsayer?

The dialogue around Oprah's Golden Globes acceptance speech has inspired AND challenged me. I've noticed that the more personal growth work that I do -- particularly around my sacral chakra -- the more present I've become to my anger and dissatisfaction as a black woman witnessing our current state of affairs.What's been challenging about this personal growth has been that I haven't always been clear about how (or when) to express my feelings or observations of unconscious bias, inequity, etc. -- in my professional (and personal) conversations.

Sometimes, I have felt constrained by my role as a coach who holds space for others to heal. What will they think of me if I express ...? And, when I have spoken my truth, and it's not been fully heard or received, I also have felt bereft of my full expression. Today, like Oprah said, "Time's Up!" No longer will I hush my voice.

My A-HA! moment came early this morning -- that's when I have a lot of these epiphany moments -- I'm probably not the only Truthsayer who has struggled with this! To my fellow Truthsayers I say, I have your back! AND, it would be my honor to share with you my Start Within coaching techniques and other tools to help support you in speaking your truth, as well as to manage your internal energy / chakras -- so you can stay whole and healthy on your soul journey.

This year, more than ever before, I feel called to support fellow Truthsayers in amplifying their mindful communication and leadership, as we all are on a mission to be fully heard, witnessed and recognized. And, it's not purely for personal gain (at least not for me). I believe that our stories hold power -- power for change, power for healing, power for truth.

Are YOU Ready to Speak Your Truth?

Don't Go It Alone - Join our New Moon Community

What About 2017 Are You Most Grateful?

What a year! Where did the time go? It would be so easy for us as women to look back and think of all of the things we didn't get done, consider all of the work that still lies ahead, and to forget how blessed and awesome we and all of our sisters are. Instead, why not acknowledge exactly how much ground we covered in 2017?!

Join us on Monday, December 18th as we begin to wrap up 2017 with the last New Moon Circle of the year! Let's gather to praise our growth, our journeys, our ups and downs. Let's give thanks for how much we’ve accomplished, how much we’ve learned, and how much beauty and transformation we have witnessed -- in ourselves and others.

Don't Go It Alone in 2018

Starting Within is scary -- especially on the dark New Moon, because it brings you face to face with your inner shadows. Through authentic connection and support of other women, it is possible to overcome challenges and temporary setbacks. That's exactly what you'll get when you become a MEMBER of the Start Within New Moon Circle. Annual promo discount ends December 18th!

Surviving & Thriving with ME-TIME

On October 30th, Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams office hosted the Surviving & Thriving Day of Empowerment to support survivors of Domestic Violence. Our Corporate Wellness team collaborated with BuddhaBooth to give attendees the opportunity to take a time out for themselves.

How to describe this ME-TIME experience? 

I shared relaxation techniques and provided therapeutic Young Living essential oils to help women enhance their experience inside the private meditation space.

As pictured, she put a drop of Lavender onto her palm, then rubbed her hands together. The strong scent has the power to soothe emotional stress. She placed her hands near her face and inhaled. Finally, it was time to enter the BuddhaBooth -- her five minutes of calm in a peaceful and quiet space. She took a big breath and sat inside, allowing her breath to settle, and her body to get still. Her mind started to wander, as all of her thoughts resurfaced. She took another big breath and her heartbeat slowed down. She was finally able to feel it: that sense of ultimate relaxation it can be so difficult to achieve.

Francine Steadman Krulak, founder and CEO of BuddhaBooth, participated in a panel discussion alongside other thriving women in business offering insight about her healing journey, on what it means to make a choice to be a thriving survivor, not a "victim" and that the first step is learning to love yourself from your own point of view, not that of another.  The discussion topics included the current headlines of mass sexual harassment in the workplace and why it's so prevalent, combined with strategies to combat domestic violence and sexual harassment.


BuddhaBooth is committed to partnering with and supporting programs that benefit survivors of domestic violence, women’s health research, prison reform and autism-related resources. Our Coaching team is launching the Sponsor-a-Sister Initiative to enable at-risk women to attend our monthly New Moon Circles without cost being an issue.

Domestic violence survivors face each and every day ongoing and challenging effects of the abuse they have suffered. Problems don’t end when victims escape the nightmare. However, although difficult and painful, recovery from abuse is possible. What we did on that day was give them a chance to escape from their situation for a while, feel safe and alive again. This was one of the moments when you realize your hard work and efforts have paid off. Sometimes it takes so little to help someone; and we were very glad to have been part of this incredible and inspiring event.

Why You Need Rituals in Your Life

What Are You Ready to Release?

November, 2017 marks one year that I've been leading New Moon Circles!

Over this past year, I've learned so much -- about myself, and also about the significance of rituals. Rituals enable us to consciously recognize pivotal moments in our lives, and notice the synergy with the ebb and flow of Nature and the world around us.

What rituals do you include in your daily / weekly / monthly / quarterly routine? Do you have a Circle or tribe of women that supports you in your rituals?

I've recently learned that this period of late October / early November is called Samhain, in Celtic tradition.  You may be more familiar with it as Halloween as it's typically celebrated in the US.

It's a ripe time to take the opportunity to reflect on your year and note what you've manifested, and note what you're ready to release.

If you'd like to try out a Samhain ritual to assist you with this release, click HERE.

Full Moon Ritual

Good news -- the Taurus Full Moon is all about abundance!

So, this is a good time (after you've released what no longer serves you), to be conscious about what abundance you'd like to call into your life. Remember that abundance is more than just about financial overflow.

In what other areas of your life would you like to manifest abundance? Click HERE for a ritual to help you set conscious intentions for abundance over the next few days.

How Do You Define Success? NEW Video

Earlier this year, I had the pleasure to participate in an amazing video series called Self-Made Successful Women, hosted by Saloua Ibaline.

SMSW is a platform on which inspirational women share their personal journeys and really open up about their life challenges. Most importantly, they give us a clear vision of the true meaning of success.

I had the chance to chat one-on-one with host Saloua, and share my story of how I define success [HINT: it's about alignment], and how I overcame a pivotal challenge in the re-branding of my coaching business.

I invite you to watch the video interview and let me know how YOU define success!

Being Mindful Amid the Chaos

For most of us, these are challenging times. Period. We're being asked to dig deep and really consider what's important, where we stand on many local, national and global issues.

It feels like a whirlwind! I haven't been fully present until now to begin sharing my thoughts.

For me, recent events have deepened my understanding of my calling. I am called to be of service. I am called to work with heart-centered purposeful founders and leaders who want to create change and have a tangible impact both with their work and with their lives.

If you feel inspired to take action, make change -- it's going to be critical that you explore all of the ways to nourish your whole self: body, mind, and spirit. That you seek out activities and communities in which you can experience the freedom that comes from mindfulness and reconnecting with your core mission.

I'll be sharing tips, ideas and resources to address the stress, anxiety and overwhelm that many of us are feeling. I'll also be facilitating discussions and Sister Circles with that distinct purpose. For today, you can listen to my interview on the My Seven Chakras show to learn more about my personal journey to mindfulness.

Let's get prepared to take conscious action, rooted in shared priorities, so we can feel more grounded and achieve enduring results.

InStep Joins Women's Lab at CSI NYC

This October, I'm proud to announce that InStep Consulting has become one of 40 Founding Members at the Women's Lab at Centre for Social Innovation, a collaborative and supportive workspace and community for social mission organizations benefiting young girls and women.

The Women's Lab will pave the way for focused programming, storytelling of member successes, and access to a vibrant and robust alumni network. CSI is in a position to provide Women's Lab members with targeted connections and even more relevant resources and networks, ultimately accelerating our impact on the world.

Overall, Centre for Social Innovation is a space created exclusively for individuals and organizations with a social mission. I'm so excited to join this thriving community of social entrepreneurs, nonprofits, creatives, and innovators who are changing the world! Oh, and did I mention: not only can CSI members recycle, but there is also onsite FOOD SCRAP collection for COMPOSTING!!

If you're in the NYC area, stop by to say HELLO! :-)

Learn to How Hack Stress Starting June 14

Don't Let the Founder's Hustle Take You Down!

I’m excited to invite you to my upcoming Stress Management for Founders workshop series happening on Tuesdays: June 14th, June 21st and June 28th at Co-Lab Factory in Brooklyn.

This series is perfect for founders who want to grow your businesses but not let the “founder’s hustle” cause personal breakdowns or health issues. I always say that if I get a cold, my business gets the flu!

Session I: June 14th - Put On Your Oxygen Mask First

In the first of this three-part series, you will learn proven, mindful stress reduction techniques so you can get better business results while improving your own well-being:

• Recognize the friction between your roles and responsibilities that creates stress and overwhelm
• Identify and track the ways you currently deal with stressful situations
• Use deep breathing to manage your physical response to being triggered by a stressful situation

Like I said in the video -- asking for help is one lesson that's taken me the longest time to learn. I GET it ... and I've got YOU!

Join me starting June 14th so you can get even better business results and improve your own well-being.

How to Communicate for Impact: Share Your Ideas & Be Understood

In communication, many disagreements are caused by different perceptions that created different realities. It can be very frustrating thinking that you have said or done the “right thing” only to find that the person you’re communicating with doesn't see it in the same way. The good news is that when you know your own priorities, and recognize the other person’s priorities, you can reduce miscommunication and develop more productive relationships.

Everyone has a dominant priority system and communication style – behaviors that we’re more comfortable with, and use most frequently. People tend to prioritize their world based on a combination of four primary priority systems (or priosys®):

1. Process-Oriented
2. Results-Oriented
3. Relationship-Oriented
4. Recognition-Oriented

Once you understand these perspectives, it becomes much easier to recognize the associated behaviors in other people. To build rapport and facilitate better communication, you can flex your communication style and adapt your priorities to more closely align with those of the other person.

This will help to make interactions more comfortable for them – which might be counter-intuitive to how you may have previously approached communication; e.g., how can I get the other person to change? To be clear, communication style flex and priority adaptation suggests changing HOW you communicate – not suppressing your point of view, nor avoiding difficult conversations.

To learn more about how to flex your communication style or better understand priority systems (e.g., take the priosys® online assessment) contact me HERE. This article is a summary of my recent workshop for the Bergen County Professional Women's Network (BCPWN) on the same subject.

Vote by FRIDAY to Help a Woman Business Owner

You've got to be in it to win it! And, I am -- now I need YOUR vote!

Perhaps you've heard of the Chase Mission Main Street Grants for Small Business? The program will award up to 20 grants of $150,000 to help small business owners to grow their businesses.

Now, through FRIDAY, OCTOBER 17, small business owners who have been in business for at least two years and have less than 100 employees can submit an application. InStep Consulting has applied, and I'd love to have your VOTE of support!

What Would a $150K Grant Mean to InStep? 

2014 is a milestone year -- I've been in business for 10 years! It's definitely been a roller-coaster ride that I couldn't imagine doing any other way. 

 

Now, it's time to think about the next 10 years. I do know they will be different -- because the business landscape has changed dramatically just in the past few years.

 

This grant would help me to do some of the strategic planning and sustainability consulting work that I offer to clients on my own business! That would mean hiring PR/marketing and business coaches; plus, I'd like to increase the bench-strength of the coaching and consulting team.

Voting is really easy! Visit the Chase Mission Main Street website:

• Click the VOTE NOW button
• Input your Facebook login
• Click VOTE!

I need at least 250 votes to be considered for a grant. Thank you for your support! Feel free to "Share Your Vote" with your social network afterwards.

What's Your WHY?

So much of what we do comes down to WHY -- even if we're not consciously aware of it. The more you tap into your WHY, the closer you can get to what really matters to you. My WHY to support the American Heart Association is because I want my mom to continue living a healthy life -- and NOT be impacted by a stroke.



My grandma died suddenly of a stroke, and it was devastating for me. Since then, my mom has changed her diet so that she can manage her blood pressure and other vital functions. As a health and life coach, I have no problem with her healthy eating and living habits. I'd just love for her once to not be so concerned about sodium in meals when we go out for special occasions. She's a real trooper -- has an inner strength that I've only just begun to really recognize. It just would be nice to take that concern off her plate, if you will.

So, that's my WHY for creating a team for the AHA Brooklyn Heart Walk coming up on Sunday, October 5th.

What's your WHY to join us to walk or support our efforts?

Help Women Leaders WIN in Berlin this October

Have you ever applied for something ... almost on a whim ... and thought "This is such a long-shot, but I'll throw my hat into the ring just for fun!"? Well, that's what happened to me with my WINConference Speakers Proposal. WIN stands for "Women's International Networking," BTW.

I've been receiving emails about WIN's women's leadership activities (including Corporate Network, Development Fund) and conferences for a few years now. I've been inspired by their mission to help women "run companies and initiatives with noble values, and to fully live their lives with beauty and enthusiasm." WIN seeks to accelerate change by developing, empowering and connecting women leaders to a global, authentic and feminine vision.

In the back of my mind, I always had the desire to participate in a WINConference; yet I never acted upon that desire -- until recently. For some reason, THIS June, I was prompted to submit a proposal to offer my Mindset Reset for Business training as one of their workshops. And, I guess I forgot that when I ASK the universe for BIG things that will benefit others, I can RECEIVE exactly what I request.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post. I'm seeking backers, supporters, and sponsors to make this goal a reality -- so I can accept my invitation to present Mindset Reset for Business at the 17th Annual WINConference in Berlin, Germany this October 1-4!

I've created a sponsorship campaign on Indiegogo (my first!) to help fund the journey "across the pond" to Berlin. It includes several specially-priced PERKS of my coaching products and VIP coaching sessions. Click below to learn more.



YOU can become part of this authentic, global vision for women! Give if you feel inspired! Spread the word to your network! And, DANKE -- THANK YOU for your support!!

Name the Sheroes of NEW Community for Women

I believe that a solid support system is essential for women to achieve and maintain good health, optimal well-being, and a stellar lifestyle. I want to help women create the lives we really, really want.

For these reasons (and more!), I'm creating a community for women that's based on authenticity, empathy, and self-awareness. I want to use my coaching skills and the tools I've used  for my own development to benefit other women.

Not wanting to build this in a vacuum, I'm reaching out for your input and feedback. The first way you can help is easy and FUN! Help me name the She-roes of our new community! Take 4 minutes to vote on your 4 favorite names in the polls below. These she-roes will represent the four profiles through which we can learn more about ourselves as women and relate better to one another. I'll share the poll results and more info about our sister community soon! THANK YOU!

Which is your favorite girl name?

Bailey

Beth

Bianca

Brianna

Bridget

Brooke

poll generator

If you were naming a girl (baby, kitten, puppy) which name would you choose?

Gabrielle

Gail

Gianna

Gina

Giselle

Grace

Poll Maker

Your best friend asked your help naming her little girl. Which name would you choose?

Rachel

Raven

Rebecca

Rebekah

Riley

Robyn

Poll Maker

You're excited! Finally a new girl is being added to your team; and her name is ...

Yasmin

Yesenia

Yolanda

Yulia

Yvette

Yvonne

Poll Maker

This is MY Moment: The Girl Declaration

"I was not put on this earth to be invisible. I was not born to be denied. I was not given life only to belong to someone else. I belong to ME. I have a voice and I will use it."

These are the first few lines of The Girl Declaration. So empowering! Even more inspiring when you hear Yaweta Chavula and Laiba Shahzadi announce the initiative on behalf of Nike at the Clinton Global Initiative. Watch until the end of the video below to see how they steal some of the thunder from Chelsea Clinton!



On this Blog Action Day, I've decided to write about Girl's Rights, since the health and well-being of girls has been shown to be an indicator of how well all humans are doing. You could argue that if we protect the rights of girls that we are protecting the rights of all people.

I'm inspired by this Girl Declaration as a woman and as someone who didn't always believe in the power of my voice. I've since learned how important it is for me (and all girls and women) to speak up for that in which we believe. The words of the Declaration are based on research and consultation with over 500 girls, ages 10-19, living in poverty in 14 countries around the world. It was written with girls, for girls. I think this Girl Declaration should be posted in every classroom to remind girls of the power in their voice. Of course, that presumes that girls are allowed and encouraged to attend school in their community!

The goals of The Girl Declaration are so powerful in their potential to impact everyone -- given that there are close to 600 million girls aged 10-19 living in the world today or approximately 8.5% of the population. [UNICEF State of the World's Children 2011]

GOAL 1—EDUCATION
Girls reach adulthood with relevant skills and knowledge to participate in economic, social and cultural life.

GOAL 2—HEALTH
Adolescent girls have access to safe, age-appropriate health and nutrition information and services, and possess the confidence to make healthy transitions to adulthood.

GOAL 3—SAFETY
Adolescent girls are free from violence and exploitation and are supported by enforced laws, child protection systems and their communities.

GOAL 4—ECONOMIC SECURITY
Adolescent girls know how to build and protect their economic assets and earn a safe income. Governments, communities and the private sector uphold girls' economic rights.

GOAL 5—CITIZENSHIP
Adolescent girls have equal access to services, opportunities, legal rights and personal freedom, and are able to fully participate as citizens of their communities.

The Girls Declaration was written because girls were left out of the original Millennium Development Goals to eliminate extreme poverty around the world by 2015. Now that girls have been included, what will we do to support the growth and development of girls around the world? What can YOU do to support a girl in your family or community? Share your thoughts and ideas here in the comments, or you can always tweet me on Twitter.

This is OUR Moment!

Could an Empowered Patient Environment be the Catalyst for Women Healthcare Leaders to Thrive?

In today's Health 2.0, the patient is empowered. It's the patient's right to be kept abreast of what's happening with their health, so they can make informed choices about their health care. And, still, we've read and heard about too many instances when patients' concerns, interests, needs, and priorities have been minimized by a healthcare system that often values efficiency over empathy.

According to a Harvard Business Review report Women Rising: The Unseen Barriers, "... women’s leadership potential sometimes shows in less conventional ways—being responsive to clients’ needs, for example, rather than boldly asserting a point of view—and sometimes it takes powerful women to recognize that potential. But powerful women are scarce." Or are they?

This statement caused me to wonder: Could an empowered patient environment be a catalyst for women physicians and other female health practitioners to thrive?

There is data to support a difference in leadership abilities and traits between men and women. According to a 2011 survey of more than 7,000 leaders by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman, women were voted to outrank men in 12 of 16 top leadership competencies.

These top leadership competencies include the ability to:

• Display high integrity and honesty
• Inspire and motivates others
• Build relationships

I've teased out these three competencies in particular as they correlate well not only with creating an empowering environment for their fellow colleagues, but also one for their patients. Equally important are other competencies in which women were viewed to excel in this survey, which one may argue could help to change the landscape of the healthcare system on a broader level, including the ability to:

• Take initiative
• Develop others
• Drive for results
• Champion change

Sounds great? Perhaps ... until we explore deeper to uncover the one competency in which women were ranked to excel less than men: the ability to develop a strategic perspective. Why were women perceived to be less strategic?

Is it a result of long-held stereotypes? Is it because of a lack of women in top leadership positions? Or, perhaps, both of these factors have led to a phenomenon called second-generation gender bias? As suggested by Herminia Ibarra, Robin Ely, and Deborah Kolb: "This bias erects powerful but subtle and often invisible barriers for women that arise from cultural assumptions and organizational structures, practices, and patterns of interaction that inadvertently benefit men while putting women at a disadvantage."

Is there a second-generation bias in healthcare? To answer that question, I suggest we explore the proposed criteria and any data that may support or disprove this assertion. Some of the data can be found in the 2013 XX in Health report: The State of Women in Healthcare.

• A paucity of role models for women

While 78% of the healthcare industry are women and 70% are administrators, only 19% are hospital CEOs -- and there are NO women CEOs that lead Fortune 500 healthcare companies

• Gendered career paths and gendered work

In addition to the above, women are not represented well at the board level -- where they would have more opportunity to make strategic decisions about the direction of their organizations and the industry at-large

• Women's lack of access to networks and sponsors

Many women are not perceiving the healthcare workplace to be supportive of their career goals -- 39% reported leaving their previous employers because of the company culture.

• "Double binds" 

Ibarra, Ely, and Kolb describe this concept as: "The mismatch between conventionally feminine qualities and the qualities thought necessary for leadership puts female leaders in a double bind." Perhaps this explains the low ranking for strategic abilities in the Zenger-Folkman study.

So, what do you think -- is there second-generation bias in healthcare? If, so will it impact women healthcare leaders ability to thrive and succeed?

I've written this article in recognition of XX in Health Week, to explore the issue of gender diversity in health leadership. I welcome your thoughts and reactions to this information as well as what you see happening in your organization. I'd encourage you to continue the dialogue here -- and to participate in (or initiate) discussions about this gender diversity in your city and community.

Share Knowledge. Take Action. National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day 2013

Did you know:

• Women make up 24 percent of HIV diagnoses among adults and adolescents in the United States.
• At some point in her lifetime, 1 in every 32 black women and 1 in every 106 Latina women will be diagnosed with HIV.

That’s why the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office on Women’s Health will sponsor the eighth annual National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day on March 10, 2013. This year, participants are invited to Share Knowledge. Take Action.

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day seeks to galvanize the women, public health advocates, and communities fighting this disease. Although the observance is March 10, the Office on Women’s Health encourages organizations to hold events and activities throughout the month of March. 

Getting involved is easy. On March 10 and throughout the month you can:

Take Action

• Get tested for HIV by visiting a local event.
• Invite a friend to attend an event with you.
• Contact your local government and ask them to sign a proclamation to declare National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day an official day in your community.

Share Knowledge

• Send an e-card to family, friends, and coworkers to encourage them to get involved and get tested.
• Update your Facebook profile and your Twitter account with the National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day Facebook cover photo and Twibbon.
• Post some of the suggested Tweets or Facebook posts using the #NWGHAAD hashtag.

By participating in National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, you will unite with others in the fight against HIV/AIDS. Feel free to share what you're up to here in the comments or tweet me on Twitter.

Why Female Founders Should Speak Up

As a Female Founder, Why Should You Speak Your Mind?

Otherwise, nothing will get done; deals will pass you by; you won’t get what you want or what you need. Perhaps it would be better to answer the question with the words of an old African-American proverb: “A closed mouth don’t get fed.” If you don’t speak up, speak your mind, and ask for what you need for yourself and for your business, you run the risk of being malnourished … possibly, in a profound, life-altering way.

Believe it or not, I didn't always recognize the importance of speaking my mind. There have been many times in my past when I have held myself back, dimmed my light, and silenced my voice. Very early on … when I was in Kindergarten and the first grade … I began to perceive messages that it wasn't always OK to speak up. I was a stronger reader than some children in my grade. The teachers did their best to keep me occupied and motivated with the resources they had at their disposal. Yet, my childlike mind couldn't help but wonder:

“Maybe it would be better if I just read at the same level as everyone else. Then, no one would have to make a fuss over finding more books and I wouldn't need any special treatment. Maybe I should just keep quiet and read what books are available at school.”

This message to “keep quiet” continued into my adolescence; when, in middle school, I was occasionally picked on for being smart. I share this part of my story not to blame the other children; more to reveal how much I’d (unknowingly) internalized the “keep quiet” messages, which had a significant impact on my willingness to let my light shine. When I was a senior in high school, I won a national writing award. My English teacher appeared to be more excited than I was – she couldn't wait to announce my accomplishment to the class. I can picture her actually jumping up and down with the notification letter in her hand.

And, all I could think was: “What will they think of me now? ‘There goes Colette, showing off and bragging about how smart she is.’” I had adopted the habit of keeping my wins a secret (keeping my mouth closed) so that fewer people would notice me or make a big deal about my accomplishments. 

Perhaps it’s from those early experiences of holding myself back that I've developed my passion to empower other women to speak their minds, even when others tell them “it can’t be done!” or “that will never work!” Now, I proactively seek out compelling, innovative ways to share what I've learned with other women who can benefit from my lessons to improve their lives and their businesses.

I believe you can develop a positive and strategic mindset to achieve your biggest dreams and be more fulfilled. It’s a matter of “flipping your script” to counteract any negative self-talk, and replacing those thoughts with more inspiring messages. You must give yourself permission to reveal your positive mindset; first to yourself, and then to others if you so choose. On your founder's journey, you may encounter a few pessimists or “Debbie Downers” that will want to share their negative outlook or try to distract you from your purpose. Yet, I believe you can choose how you respond, and choose whether you will allow their perspective to hold you back from speaking your mind.

So, now, as the woman who coaches other women to tap away their stress and communicate for impact, when I hear my own negative self-talk and begin to doubt whether I should speak my mind, I can flip my own script:

"If I’m not willing to speak up, speak my mind, and ask for what I need, how can I ask others to do the same? It’s time to get my voice on, because this mouth needs to get fed!”

What do you think? Are there times you hold yourself back or silence your voice? What has that cost you? Share your comments here or tweet me your thoughts on Twitter.

NEW Podcast: Is Your Stress Making You Ugly?

You know that stress isn't good for your health, but does it play a part in how you look? You bet it does! Want the good news? It IS possible to "de-stress your skin."

Learn how in my latest podcast with guest, Gorgeous Lifestyle Expert & Celebrity Makeup Artist Nicole Lundy, founder of Ne`lani Beauty.

Your body responds to pressures by releasing stress hormones (such as cortisol, epinephrine and nor-epinephrine that increase your blood pressure, speed your heart rate, and raise your blood sugar levels. This "flight or fight" response is usually self-regulating and likely will subside when you return to a calmer state of mind. Yet, when your stress becomes chronic or constant, it can aggravate and worsen skin conditions, such as acne or eczema.

Tune in to the podcast to hear the telltale signs that stress is having a negative impact on your skin and learn some healthy beauty habits. Not only will you feel a lot better, but you will look a whole lot younger too!

Nicole’s signature 6-step Gorgeous Living Success System™ is at the core of all of the beauty programs, classes, and products that she creates. She specifically helps professional women to transform their entire beauty regimen, master their makeup techniques, and adopt a skincare regimen that caters to their exact skin type.

If after listening to the podcast, you're interested in learning more about Nicole's NEW 3-Month Gorgeous Living Program, email me or follow/DM me on Twitter and I'll let you know the inside scoop!

Can a Successful Career Woman Juggle Work, Life & Dating Without Making Sacrifices?

Last Thursday, I participated in a coaching panel sponsored by the City Tech Alumni Association called Today's Woman: Your Life, Career & Outfit to help women define their personal style and boost their confidence.

Source: citytech.cuny.edu via Coach_Colette on Pinterest

We received a number of questions from women at the event about how to navigate their careers, balance work-life commitments, find mentors and just stay motivated! I thought I'd share a few of the questions and my responses here on the blog so that you too can benefit -- and start Q4 off with a bang!

Q: "I recently read an article about women not being able to 'have it all.' How can a successful, young career woman juggle work life and dating without sacrificing one or the other?"

A from Coach Colette:

* Get clear ... and be HONEST about your priorities; and then, don't judge yourself for having them -- in whatever way and in whatever order they show up for you. Your priorities WILL change over time -- figure out what they are for you right now.
* When you choose actions that align with your priorities, you will feel more comfortable and less conflicted, because you are being true to yourself -- working in the direction of your desires, dreams and goals.
* When you choose actions that contradict your priorities, you will feel uncomfortable or even guilty because there is a part of you (deep inside; yes, it's that voice) that realizes you’re not honoring what you truly want.
* Once you've honestly defined your priorities, take a look at your schedule for the last 2 weeks. Does your schedule reflect your priorities; i.e., do you allocate time to the people and the tasks that are most important to you? Whatever answers you learn from reviewing your schedule, again, don't judge -- just observe.
* Set the intention to spend more time with the most important people (e.g., family, friends, significant other, or whomever you choose), and to start spending more time working on the most important activities that you find valuable and that contribute to your priorities. In the beginning, you may only be able to make small changes in your schedule, and that's OK. In Covey speak, we call that living "above the line" -- starting to focus more of your attention on activities and people that are important to you and your goals.
* Minimize time you spend on non-important activities (e.g., putting out fires or responding to interruptions) and avoid potential "time wasters" or excessive "escape" activities -- the time wasters and escape activities are different for everyone; figure out what they are for you.
* And, perhaps most important, as you begin to make these changes, talk to the most important people in your life, including the person you're dating, who will be affected by changes in how you will spend your time -- don't do this in a vacuum, share your reasoning and let them know why you're making the changes. Let them know how it can benefit them as you become more fulfilled and excited about what's going on in your life.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on my suggestions. What's your take on "having it all?" What have you tried to keep a good balance between your business/career and your personal interests?

Comment here on the blog or tweet me on Twitter. And, keep an eye out as I answer more career and life questions from the discussion.