Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Why I'm Not a "Cookie-Cutter" Coach

I recently met someone who asked me to share my Top 5 tips for reducing stress. (I'd already told the person that I am a Career & Stress Management coach; so, it wasn't actually that far-fetched). However, he became a bit miffed when I paused to think. Perhaps too many nights watching Dave Letterman's Top 10 Lists?

"Why can't you just come up with five "simple" tips?"

When I suggested that it wasn't that easy, my new acquaintance decided to describe a person-in-need to "help" me respond: "The person works 60-hours per week, has two kids at home, and is stressed by the competing work-life demands." OK, now we're getting somewhere!

I paused and asked: Is the person a man or a woman? "He is a man." As I was about to ask my next question (Does he own the business or does he work for someone else?), my friend lost it. "How hard can this be? I know the answers. For ME, it would be ..." That's when I realized -- I'm not a cookie-cutter coach!

Could I have shared five generic stress reduction tips? Absolutely! However, I attempted to ask questions so that I could learn more about the "person" and be able to share ideas that would be relevant and helpful. That's how I approach all aspects of my work, whether it's consulting, training or coaching. I ask questions to learn about my client's needs -- to get into their world -- so that I can provide informed feedback or resources.

We are all unique and, therefore, we experience stress in different ways. Responses to work-life demands vary between men and women. The work-life challenges of business owners are typically different than those of employees. It's with this knowledge that I resist providing cookie-cutter responses!

OK, I get it (I'm a New Yorker). You're still waiting for my Top 5 tips. I can share what often works for me:
  1. Listening to music
  2. Talking to someone from my "right people, right energy" team
  3. Changing my setting/perspective
  4. Aromatherapy candles
  5. Positive self-talk

What works for you? :)

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