Maine & NH Library Leaders Get Creative!

Back in NYC after my almost-week in Maine. The Round 2 kickoff of the PLA tour was great! Had a great time meeting librarians and their supporters from Maine & New Hampshire.

In addition to my sessions on Leadership, Creating Compelling Stories and Giving Memorable Presentations, I led a new session on Project Management called Staying on Track. This was a great way to help participants tie the content from their previous sessions together.

Besides upgrading their computer hardware, many participants indicated that libraries in Maine & NH are engaging in capital projects, e.g., renovation, preservation -- and one library will be re-carpeted! This project sparked some cool discussion as participants traded ideas on how to generate project support.

• One person suggested "selling" squares of the new carpet, so that donors could see which part(s) they had contributed to.


• The librarian indicated that carpet squares couldn't be used because of the wood flooring underneath.


• Dialogue continued until another participant suggested creating a quilt to replicate the carpet squares that could be hung on the wall -- this would maintain the visual of donor contributions, but not force them into using carpet squares on the floor!

It's this creativity and willingness of participants to pitch in new ideas that makes the PLA project so rewarding to work on.

And, the ability to travel the country has been fun as well. Here are a few shots from our boat ride to Diamond Cove off Casco Bay.

On the Road Again - the PLA Tour

Happy Friday! I've been spending the week catching up and getting ready for the PLA-Tour! No, it's not a typo (I don't play golf ... yet!) -- the "tour" is the leadership training program for the Public Library Association.


You may recall from the spring that I posted some pics from workshops I led in cool places like Hershey, PA. Well, I'll be on the road again (beginning on Sunday) to help librarians and their trustees enhance their leadership skills to create community partnerships and (ultimately) increase funding for their libraries.


The first stop on the fall PLA Tour is Portland, Maine, where I'll meet and train librarians and trustees from the home state and from New Hampshire. I'm excited to be back involved with the project.

This time, I'll be bringing more Web 2.0 with me as I recently created a profile on Twitter! That way, I can share quick nuggets of learning, ideas, etc. from the workshops. So, you can follow me on Twitter directly or read updates here on the blog (right-hand side). See you on the road! :)

The "Back to ... Blues" vs. Presence

So, it's "back to school" time. I was a little shocked on Monday evening when I felt a small tingle of the "Back to ... Blues" about the return to work. Could it have been "muscle memory" in my brain from all of those Labor Day evenings growing up? Or, [more likely] was it the knowledge I had 100+ emails to review after my "stay-cation"?

I'm impressed that I remained relatively unplugged during my "stay-cation" -- managed to electronically weed through business-related emails on my BlackBerry to keep my focus on unwinding. To assist with this intention, I began reading Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. I was fascinated by his comments on the ego and our struggle with being truly conscious and present.

Even the concept of the "Back to ... Blues" is in conflict with being present, right? It's an expression of dread in the current moment (possibly the day before work/school/etc.) about a future moment that we presume will be negative. So, perhaps we miss out on something fantastic in the current moment because we're so concerned about the future potential of something bad. It may sound trivial when you're reading it [I had a few "well, duh!" moments with myself while reading the book]; but it's good to even recognize when this has happened (or is happening) to you. That level of awareness is the big "A-HA!" that can help increase your level of presence.

Being on "stay-cation" provided a lot of space for me to consider these concepts without the form pressures of meetings or client commitments. Staying conscious and present in the Now during life's normal adventures will be the challenge. I'll continue to reflect on this -- and am intrigued to hear your thoughts. How do you stay present in the Now?

Get Coached on Work-Life Balance Strategies TOMORROW!

This is a quick reminder that tomorrow (Saturday) is the Craigslist Foundation Nonprofit Boot Camp at NYU. I'll be onsite as a career coach from 10:30 AM - 12:30 PM. And, given the statistics I read in an email today, I think we're all in need of some coaching on work-life balance!

According to a survey by AOL, here are some places that people send and receive emails:

· In bed in their pajamas: 67%
· From the bathroom: 59% (up from 53% last year)
· While driving: 50% (up from 37% last year)
· In a bar or club: 39%
· In a business meeting: 38%
· During happy hour: 34%
· While on a date: 25%From church: 15% (up from 12% last year)

OK, the bathroom stat makes me not want to borrow anyone's phone or BlackBerry anytime soon! I'll admit that I've checked email (or more likely texts) while at a bar waiting for someone to arrive [it's that knee-jerk reaction so you don't appear so "alone" while sitting there]. But, on a date? What would Andrea and the folks at MeetMarket Adventures have to say about that one?!

So you know I've written many posts about the challenges of being unplugged. I have noticed an increase in the number of emails I receive after 7:00 PM. Now, truth be told, it may not be an increase in traffic -- just a heightened awareness since now I, too, have a BlackBerry and can see the blinking light when a new message comes through. Although, I typically choose not to respond -- unless I've been on the road or out of the office all day. That's my caveat for evening/night emailing ... what's yours?

And, so, our work-life balance struggle continues. Which of the places above do you check email? What about texting?

Hear our FULL Podcasts on GarageBand.com

It's recently come to my attention that many of the full podcast recordings were not being broadcasted on our Competent Advantage TM Gcast site. I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused both my listeners and guest experts.

The GOOD NEWS is that Gcast is actually owned by GarageBand Records. So, the FULL podcast recordings are available on our "companion" podcast site on GarageBand. The only difference is that my introductions and the expert interviews will likely appear as separate mp3 files.

So, don't give up! Please visit our podcast site on GarageBand and hear recent discussions on cooling summer foods and strategies to beat the stress of urban dating. Turn up your speakers and listen up! :)

Do You Power Nap?

Happy Monday! I was channel surfing yesterday (while resting & fighting a cold) and came across HealthCorner TV. They had an interesting segment on Power Napping. According to sleep experts, a 20-minute nap during the day can help boost your memory and productivity.

The discussion centered on the challenges of incorporating naps into the day in a typical corporate, business setting. What would your boss say if s/he found you power-napping under your desk on a yoga mat with a pillow?

I tried to think back to my previous jobs to ponder answers to the question ... very amusing! I had a dedicated office during one of my former positions (as a Director), which would have made the power-nap somewhat more feasible. In my legal/consulting roles, I'm sure the discussion would have somehow come back to billable hours!

Then, I began to consider my current entrepreneurial role, in which I have more flexibility in my schedule. And, yet, I typically only nap during the day if I'm feeling ill. For those of you who work in home-based offices, do you take advantage of your setting to power-nap?

I have been trying to incorporate meditation into my day more regularly, using the audio exercises from our Stress Management CD as well as the Brain Fitness program. Yet, I'm more likely to do so towards the end of the day, as opposed to using it as a refresher during the day. Perhaps I'll consider doing it during my "lunch break" as suggested in the segment. What do you think?

Colette is Coach at Nonprofit Boot Camp August 16

If you're in the New York area, and are considering a career in the nonprofit sector, I'd highly recommend you join me in attending the Nonprofit Boot Camp sponsored by the Craigslist Foundation on Saturday, August 16 at New York University.

This promises to be a a day of knowledge, resources and networking, all focused on how to start and run a vibrant nonprofit. Nonprofit Boot Camp is designed to educate and empower the next generation of nonprofit leaders and social entrepreneurs. Event highlights include:

• A choice of over 20 interactive workshops and panels across 5 - 10 educational tracks, covering the essentials of starting and running a nonprofit or social enterprise
• More than 100 partner organizations, representing virtually every local nonprofit management support resource
• Appearances and keynote speeches from leading figures

PLUS Individual "Laser Coaching" Sessions -- I'll be one of the coaches available to meet with you between 10:30 AM -12:30 PM to discuss your career strategy.

Your $75 registration fee includes a full day of workshops, keynotes, Exhibit Hall access, one-on-one coaching, and the opportunity to network and collaborate with 1,000 emerging and established nonprofit leaders. Hope to see you there! :)

PS -- if you're on the West Coast, there's a similar event being held on October 18 in San Francisco.

Inspiration to Pursue Your Childhood Dreams

Last evening, I opened a link I'd received to the Last Lecture given by Randy Pausch, the esteemed Computer Science professor from Carnegie Mellon University who recently passed away due to pancreatic cancer. I couldn't believe how touched I was, on so many levels, by his commentary on life.

On a personal level, watching the connection between he and his wife caused me to wonder when I'll be blessed with such a great love. I also was re-inspired by his suggestion to "wait long enough and people will eventually impress you." In all honesty, patience is one virtue I consistently must cultivate; however, there have been times when giving people a little more time and space has worked out well.

On a professional level, I was intrigued by many concepts -- including the head fake [the concept of "tricking" people into learning complex things by teaching them something else fun and engaging]. As a trainer and even a coach, that premise resonates really well with me -- how can I help people have their "A-HA!" moments without making it so obvious that that's what I'm aiming to do?

I also relished his ironic interpretation of challenges and obstacles: "Brick walls are there to let us prove how badly we want something." There's something so basic in this concept and yet so compelling. How often have we scaled different "walls" despite our fears or reluctance? Or, when have we walked around other "walls" because they really have blocked the path to our true desires?

All in all, Randy's consistent dedication to helping his students and colleagues to pursue their childhood dreams is inspiring. The manifestation of my childhood "dream job" has changed a bit; although it's still in the realm of helping people. This became clearer to me as I was writing the purpose statement for my company about five years ago [to help people use their knowledge and abilities to achieve great things]. Although, I still believe I'm on a journey to find my ultimate purpose in life ... but, enough of my rambles (for now).

• What are your dreams?
• How are you pursuing them?
• Are you scaling the "walls" that get in your way?
• What "head fakes" have helped you have your A-HA! moments?

Do watch the video when you have the chance. And, thanks for sharing your thoughts! :)

Colette is On the Radio - July 30th & 31st

Happy Friday! Hope you're getting ready for a fun-filled, relaxing weekend. I'm excited to report that next week I'll be a featured guest on TWO radio shows!

Next Wednesday, July 30 at 6:00 PM EDT, I'll be chatting with Sharlene Gordon on W-E Talk Radio. The "W-E" stands for Women's Empowerment; and, the network aims to provide informative, interactive, empowering and engaging topics of discussion for women all over the globe to participate in, learn from and grow. On the show, I'll be discussing components of the Competent Advantage TM program, and sharing tips on how you can become a "master chameleon." Since it's being hosted by Blog Talk Radio, you'll be able to listen online and dial-in to ask questions and share your success stories. Call us at (646) 652-2878 next Wednesday!

Next Thursday, July 31 at 7:00 PM EDT, I'll be joining Jessie Cheung on Doctor Radio on Sirius Channel 114. Doctor Radio is powered by the NYU Medical Center and provides real medical information delivered in a down-to-earth-style. On the show, I'll be discussing components of the Work-Life Balance program, and sharing tips on how you can manage your stress in our fast-paced world. Since it's being hosted by Sirius, you'll be able to listen online (if you sign up for their FREE 3-Day Trial) and dial-in to ask questions and share your stories. Call us at 1-877-NYU-DOCS next Thursday!

Looking forward to chatting with you on the radio next week! :)

Summer is HOT! Cool Off with the Right Foods

Perfect timing to release my new podcast with Meredith Sobel of Sobel Wellness about cool foods! It's expected to be 90+ degrees here in New York this weekend. Did you know that the foods you eat may actually make you feel warmer?

In this podcast, Meredith and I discuss “cooling” foods – whose properties can actually help cool your body temperature and make you more comfortable. And, when you feel more comfortable, you often are less irritated and stressed out. We also talk about ways to take advantage of seasonal fruits and veggies, and share some more tips on maintaining healthy eating patterns.

I often find in the summer it's easier to eat healthily because the heat reduces my appetite a bit. And, I love having salads with lots of fun ingredients -- sometimes from those "create your own" salad bars. And it's easy to include fruits -- although nothing can top buying fresh mango slices while sitting on the beach in Tulum, Mexico! ahhh .....

What's your favorite summer food? Take a listen to our podcast and let me know what you think! :)

What are the Economics of Love?

Hope you had a great weekend! I attended a Bastille Day celebration on Smith Street in Brooklyn yesterday.


I thought I'd share a link to an article by Ben Stein in yesterday's New York Times about the "Economics of Love." In it, he makes comparisons between high-quality bonds and high-quality love (i.e., stay away from the "junk" in both situations!).


I guess I found it a bit ironic to receive the article link from a friend today, given my recent podcast and last blog post about managing the stress of urban dating. Of course, when we focus on something, it becomes almost inevitable that everything we see/hear seems somehow related. Perhaps this is more of a personal journey than I'd like to admit!

In my life balance board on MOLI, I've posed a similar question: how do you maintain the balance between your business and social (personal) life? I've talked about my challenge of taking off my coach hat when I go to social functions.

I'm wondering if this is a unique challenge for entrepreneurs/business owners; or does everyone have various hats (or maybe masks) that they wear to protect themselves in social settings??

Summer Dating is an Adventure - Don't Get Stressed Out!

Hope you had a wonderful July 4th weekend! I'm excited about my new podcast with Andrea Varano, Director of NY Operations for Meet Market Adventures.

It occurred to me that many of my work-life balance posts and podcasts have focused on the professional or "work" side of the equation. Perhaps that's because I come into this work from the Training & Career Development world.

So, I began to think: What areas on the "life" side can often cause people stress? DUH! How about meeting new people -- whether it's on the personal side of dating or on the social side of networking and making new friends. Urban dating (and socializing) is an adventure! That's why it's great to have groups like Meet Market Adventures who organize structured activities like white water rafting -- at least it takes the stress of planning out of the equation. Then, you can focus on getting there ... and, of course, what you'll wear! [Check out the podcast for Andrea's funny anecdote about attire/makeup for a jogging event.]

We all know that our personal networks can be a source of support in our fast-paced, hectic world. Yet, attracting the right people into our personal network can sometimes be a challenge. In this podcast, Andrea and I discuss tips to manage your expectations when you meet new people at social events and hints on how to make yourself more attractive to potential friends and mates. I also talk about my BOLD move of attending MMA events alone -- which Andrea thinks can be a good strategy.

If you’re a reader/listener in the New York City area, do keep Thursday, July 24th at 6:00 PM open for the next Meet Market Adventures Singles After-Work mixer at Duvet Lounge. You’ll have an opportunity to mingle, meet and network with over 300 singles in a "hip" setting. Andrea and her team will have some fun icebreaker activities so you can practice the suggestions we discuss on our podcast! Arrive early and your name will be entered in their Grand Prize Draw of an all expense paid White Water Rafting Trip.

Sign up on their website for and take advantage of this interactive evening of contests, prizes, food & dancing, for only $19.99. This is definitely a party you won't want to miss!

Summer Career Coaching Group Begins July 15

I've decided to start a Master Chameleon Career Coaching Group this summer. Why?

As a coach in today’s ever-changing economy, I feel compelled to create a safe space for people to learn, grow, discover and even vent a little [in a constructive way!]. And, to help them recognize how to adapt their skills and their “buzz” to find their next adventure – in a way that doesn’t compromise what they believe in and value.

Where does the chameleon concept come from? Five and half years ago, I received notification that my position would be eliminated because of a recent company merger. Ironically that was the second such notification I’d received within 13 months. The way I saw it, I had two choices [now I know there were many others too!]:

1. Attempt to find another job
2. Attempt to sell my skills on the "open market" as a consultant

What did I do? I leveraged my contacts and skills, and chose the latter option. I’ve spent the past five years building my consulting (and now) coaching practice to the level it is today. For me, the chameleon concept is really at the heart of the Competent Advantage TM model.

How can you "change colors" or adapt your skills/talents/abilities to add value to an organization? But, what's most important, is how can you stay true to your personal and professional goals, motivators and values?

So, that's what I'm hoping this Master Chameleon Coaching Group will help people to explore. Because, I think the real lessons I learned about career transition came from my first “downsizing” experience, which came without warning [or so I thought!].

What did I do that time? I panicked. I spent a good two to three weeks in partial denial and seclusion. I was embarrassed and ashamed that “it” had happened to me. I eventually came out of hiding, began to establish new contacts and expand my network and think about what I wanted to do. Through these efforts, I successfully “landed” approximately three months later.

Do you know people who could benefit from this supportive, transformational experience? Could you? If so, join us for 4-weekly tele-sessions plus structured activities and online support. Don't be like everyone else who takes the summer off, empower yourself NOW!

Disconnect Anxiety - Is it Real?

I stumbled on this article on the MSN Tech & Gadgets site and thought it would be a good topic to discuss in this my 2008 Year of Technology. I've posted before about the challenges of "unplugging" from our tech gadgets. And, I've even discussed the potential upsides of staying connected. Yet, I didn't know that there's now a phrase that describes the challenge -- Disconnect Anxiety.

You know it's serious stuff when there's talk of adding it (tech-related compulsion) to the updated manual of psychiatric disorders. This would be the dangerous level when the desire to stay connected overwhelms someone to the point it significantly impacts personal and professional relationships. It suggests that the compulsion to check email or text or "Twitter" others would be as strong as the pull people may feel from food or other controlled substances.

I do know that I'm a bit fascinated with my new laptop because of its newer features and software. I like the fact that I can check email on my BlackBerry when I'm on the road. And, to be honest, I felt a bit guilty when I couldn't check in or post to the blog when I was in St. Maarten as I said I would [I don't have international coverage yet]. Although speaking as a stress management coach, I don't believe I need an intervention just yet. I do manage to find some balance -- e.g., my BlackBerry doesn't chirp or buzz when I have a new email [OK, really b/c I didn't know how to change the setting at first]; I typically don't answer business email at night unless I've been out of the office all day.

What struck me most, perhaps, was the almost Catch-22 nature of our social networking tools and sites [including, GULP, this blog?!]. Could it be that the very systems we're creating to stay in touch and build networks are actually facilitating the problem? What do you think?

Pictures from Nonprofit Coaching Event

Happy Friday! I've just posted pictures from yesterday's Advice-Link event to my Facebook page. Congratulations to Sue Green of Nonprofit Central for organizing this valuable, interactive event! And, kudos to Howard Levy of Red Rooster Group for updating our website so quickly!

It was great to meet nonprofit leaders in New York who are seeking creative ways to strengthen the capacity of their organizations. And, it also was fun to connect with other talented consultants. I'm looking forward to future strategic coaching events ... or, as I think they should be called 30-Minute Dating for Organizations. LOL!

Colette Joins other Nonprofit Experts on June 12

This quarter has really brought attention to my public sector work --

• Leadership Training events for public librarians back in April
• Coaching trainees in May for yesterday's Debate Day event for OBT
• Volunteering on Tuesday for the Games for Change conference [more details soon]

And, the trend continues! Next Thursday (June 12 beginning at 8:30 AM), I'm delighted to be participating in another fantastic, half-day event to build capacity of the nonprofit sector -- Advice-Link: One-on-One Consulting for Nonprofit Leaders.

Are you running a nonprofit program in the New York area (or are you thinking of starting one)? Do you have a "burning question" about how to improve your organization?

Nonprofit Central has gathered some of the tri-state area's top consultants to provide 30-minute strategic consultations to nonprofit leaders -- think speed dating meets organizational coaching! In addition to the individualized coaching sessions, attendees will engage in pre- and post-networking activities to expand their contacts and brainstorm new ideas.

Register NOW for Advice-Link on Thursday, June 12. Appointments will be made on a first-come, first-served basis. I hope to see you there!

Young People Shine at Brooklyn Marriott

Once again, the trainees from Opportunities for a Better Tomorrow delivered a series of compelling persuasive speeches at the Third Debate Day held this morning at the Brooklyn Marriott. Considering such current topics as the dangers of online chat rooms to the merits of school uniforms, these youth never cease to inspire. And, let's not forget the future-attorneys on the Mock Trial teams who significantly impressed the practicing attorney who served as the jury fore-person.

I'm truly glad the InStep team played a small part in their futures. Reach for the stars!

Entrepreneurs: What Are You Curious About?

The question of today's post is the underlying theme of a NEW podcast on the Competent Advantage TM channel about professional development for business owners. The podcast is my conversation with Eva Lilijendahl, an executive coach and founder of Inspiration for Excellence.

In today's business economy, you may be wondering why Eva and I spent time talking about curiosity -- why not talk about developing new business strategies, or expanding into new markets? Well, indirectly, we were talking about that -- how to be proactive about deciding in which areas to develop your skills (that will presumably help grow your business), by first spending a little time tapping into your curiosity. In fact, Eva believes that curiosity has everything to do with business development; and, I'm inclined to agree.

As I've mentioned, 2008 has become my year of technology with my recent hardware purchases. These purchases have made me more curious about social networking and Web 2.0 -- now that I have the gadgets that enable me to take greater advantage! What has that meant for my business? Well, I've yet to see the full impact; but I can speak to new habits I've included into my routine: checking in and updating my Facebook page; monitoring and adding posts to my MOLI Life Balance Board. On the fun side, I've created a new Avatar for myself on Meez (see sidebar)-- a true example of how learning can be fun!

In my world of coaching and consulting, being curious about technology will likely serve me well. Yet, Eva and I also discussed indirect benefits from learning things that may have nothing do with your business or career (won't give too much away but example in the podcast involves stage performance). Have you ever been surprised by being able to use a skill for work that you gained during a purely fun activity?

While on the road with the librarians, I recall that Kevin (Carroll) always encouraged them to stir up their sense of "neoteny" as a way of keeping an open mind during the training sessions. Don't worry, I hadn't heard of the word before either! But, it's the ability to keep your childlike quailities -- one of which is curiosity.

So, I'll ask again: what are you curious about now?

Colette is Featured Expert in MOLI Small Business Center

Hope you all had a FABULOUS Memorial Day weekend! Keeping in line with my 2008-year of-Technology, I'm excited to announce that I'm now a Featured Expert on a NEW social media and commerce community -- MOLI Small Business Center.

MOLI is a free, online social community where small business owners and individuals over the age of 18 can create and manage multiple profiles from a single account to control their privacy and separate their social, business and family relationships.

The Small Business Center is a comprehensive, multimedia, interactive destination where members can network, engage in discussions, and access expert advice, resources, tools and tips on how to take their businesses to the next level. An important component of the Center is the interactive forums, where members can engage with a seasoned group of entrepreneurs and business experts. The forum that I moderate is the Life Balance community.

What's cool is that in addition to the tools and coaching services that field experts like me can offer, MOLI also has found great partners (like E-Myth) to provide resources.

The MOLI Small Business Center – Where Entrepreneurs Work, Network and Play!

Come join me in the Life Balance community!

NEW Photos on Facebook

I've uploaded some photos from the first round of Turning the Page leadership development training to my Facebook page. Why did it take so long?

As I mentioned before, 2008 is my year of new technology. Well, my new laptop was delivered this week (early!). And, I've spent time today beginning to organize my files and documents and emails, etc... what fun -- NOT!

But, I am glad to have a newer machine that will enable me to take full advantage of Web 2.0 and social networking -- including the ability to create video podcasts with my new integrated camera! Keep an eye out for those, coming soon!

NEW Podcast on Stress & Eating Habits

Hello and Happy (belated) Mother's Day to all of the moms out there! I had a great dinner with my mom and dad on Sunday evening here in NYC (Primehouse New York).

This post is to let you know of a new podcast I've recently uploaded to the Competent Advantage TM podcast channel about Stress & Eating Habits. It’s my conversation with Frances Cheung, a board-certified holistic health counselor. In addition to her private coaching practice, she is also a nutrition counselor at Wat, a premier Thai boxing gym in New York.

Frances and I shared insights on how you can break the unhealthy connection between stress and food. For the most part, I'm a pretty healthy eater (vegetarian who eats fish). Occasionally, though, I do have cravings -- usually for crunchy/salty snacks, but once in a while for chocolate [which made the Hershey trip a bit of a challenge with such easy access to chocolate 24 x 7]. I finally "released my shoulds" and gave myself permission while there to sample without feeling guilty. It made the experience more enjoyable -- so that I didn't freak out every time I ate a mini-Peppermint Patty (that was the "assigned" candy for my training room). And, I didn't over-indulge either.

In the podcast, we focus on healthy eating habits -- e.g., I learned from Frances about the potential downside of eating while standing up -- and offer tips to reduce stress even amidst our hectic lifestyles. Hope you enjoy -- and let me know what you think after you listen.

A Personal Note: My Parents Sing at Lincoln Center

Happy Saturday! Last month, my parents had the opportunity to perform three times at JAZZ @Lincoln Center! How did this happen?

Well, they are part of the Bicentennial Choir of Abyssinian Baptist Church -- a special combined choir that was convened to commemorate the 200th Anniversary of the Church. This choir performed along with Wynton Marsalis & his Jazz Orchestra on April 10-12 at Lincoln Center and on April 19 at the Church. The performance was phenomenal!

And, not merely based on my [admittedly-biased] opinion. The story captured the attention of many media outlets, including Eye on New York -- which had a special feature on the performances last Sunday. In the video clip, my dad actually appears for a brief moment (to the right of Wynton).

Needless to say I'm very proud of my parents (not just for this, of course!). As my dad said, "it was a great time in our lives, not to be forgotten!"

NEW Podcast on Storytelling

Hello, hope you're getting ready for a fabulous weekend! I wanted to let you all know I've just uploaded a new podcast to the Competent Advantage channel on storytelling. Why storytelling?

Well, I've been inspired by one of the sessions I've been facilitating for the Turning the Page conference for library leaders called "Creating Your Library Story." It's designed to help librarians develop compelling stories about the benefits their patrons receive from public access computers and related technology. [We encourage them to find their "Kevin Carroll" stories to highlight.]

So, when I was asked to contribute by Sue Green at Nonprofit Central to create a tutorial for nonprofit leaders that would be featured by Craigslist Foundation, I thought storytelling would be a relevant theme on which to focus. And, really, this theme ties in very well with the Create a Buzz concept of Discover Your Competent Advantage TM -- keeping track of accomplishments and demonstrating how they add value.

The podcast provides tips for nonprofit leaders to create engaging stories that will motivate potential supporters and volunteers (including a model for writing the story). While it is geared towards public sector organizations, others of you may also benefit from the ideas and suggestions. Remember, the more you can tell good stories about your accomplishments [your WOW Factor], the easier it will be for others to see your value. Once upon a time ...

Library Leaders get Treats in Hershey

Here's a picture from our final session at the PLA conference with our special guest!

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St. Maarten IS the Friendly Island!

Greetings! I thought I'd make a quick post to share some details on the Good Life Festival & Retreat -- it was FANTASTIC! A big shout out to the JI Group for pulling together a wonderful event. Accomodations and service at the Sonesta Maho Beach Resort & Casino were great. Upon arrival there, we were welcomed by the St. Maarten Tourism Board as we began to unwind from our travels (completely uneventful and without delays -- surprise!).

The stress management sessions were well received. We had a discussion on Wednesday evening about our various roles/responsibilities, how to perceive them in different ways and better communicate our needs to minimize stress. On Thursday morning, I led the group through three relaxation and meditation exercises before folks headed back to the beach, etc. Then, a few of us went to the French side (St. Martin) for some local creole and browsing in the market.

No pics yet -- my phone was off the whole stay -- but hope to share some soon. I was sorry to cut my visit short (Friday); however, I do plan to return to the island for future fun (and perhaps business). My bags are packed for my next adventure -- leadership training with the "rowdy" librarians in Hershey, PA. Did someone say chocolate?? :)

Staying Connected: The Positive Side of BlackBerry

Before I head down to St. Maarten for the Good Life Festival and Retreat, I thought I'd give a shout out to my colleague Kevin Carroll for being highlighted as a featured BlackBerry owner on their website.

Who is Kevin Carroll? Kevin, author of Rules of the Red Rubber Ball, is the dynamic speaker who gets the librarians all "rowdy" when he kicks off our Turning the Page leadership training events -- by encouraging them to be creative and unconventional as they plan and execute their advocacy projects. In his BlackBerry testimonial, Kevin speaks to the benefit of staying connected with family and colleagues via the device while on the road. What's ironic about me giving the shout-out today is that I called Verizon earlier today to ensure that I'd have mobile access to phone and email while in St. Maarten.

Now, I know this may seem to some a bit contrary to some of my earlier posts about the need to unplug from our various devices. However, I do believe there is some peace of mind that comes from being able to reach out and stay connected when necessary. And, I've been able to post pics to this blog from the road using my Pearl (which I'll try to do over the next few days). The trick is to find the right balance!

BTW, you can learn more about Kevin, his firm -- Katalyst Consultancy, and how he helps people incorporate play into their work and personal growth on his blog.

Tips to Re-Energize for Spring!

Now that the buds are beginning to appear on trees, it's really starting to look like spring in NYC. I thought I'd share some tips based on a question that was posed on one of my list-serve groups:

How can you get re-energized for Spring if the pressures of work/career, personal life (or taxes!) make you feel stressed or burnt out?

Play Music
Yes, it really can be that simple! Researchers have shown (through brain mapping) that different sound frequency patterns can lead to more healthful states. Sounds that slow our brainwaves can also slow down our heart rate, blood pressure and muscle tension – and help us to relax! You can experiment on your own by listening to different types of music and observing your physical and emotional reactions. I’ve found that listening to jazz really helps me to focus while I’m working. If you’re interested in exploring this a bit deeper, check out Dr. Jeffrey Thompson’s Brain Fitness Kits at www.brainfitnesskit.com. He has created a series of audio programs for relaxation and better sleep. I really like his Awakened Mind program – helps me be more creative.

Change Your Perception
How you think about your situation can have a big impact on how stressed you feel. Pay attention to the language you use when you describe your daily activities – words like “have to” imply the activity is a burden (pressure); words like “should have” imply some sort of regret (guilt). Think about one stressful aspect of your life. Can you imagine an alternative, positive solution? If you’d like help re-invigorating your imagination, check out Not a Box, by Antoinette Portis at http://www.amazon.com/Not-Box-Antoinette-Portis/dp/0061123226.

What do you think -- what are you doing to get yourself excited and re-energized for spring?? :)

Leadership Training Update: The Sagamore

I'm back in NYC after last week's library leadership training events at The Sagamore. The picture from the last post truly didn't do justice to the landscape and scenery. Here's a shout out to Shannon and the team at The Sagamore -- thanks for making PLA and our participants feel so welcome and special! I must admit that it was cool to be back in my home-state -- where my "Ellis, like the Island" introductory joke was met with at least a chuckle!

Once again, we had some rich discussions in my enhancing project leadership sessions. We discussed the challenges of being a team of one -- library leaders who manage the shop on their own. How can you create effective teams? How do you not burnout as you balance your many responsibilities?

I typically encourage them to think broadly about their potential team members -- volunteers, board members, trustees, students, et al. In many cases, a librarian has had an "a-ha" moment about someone to approach that s/he hadn't considered before. I also suggest they tap into the passions (WOW! Factors) of others when including people on projects -- assigning tasks that they will be excited and inspired to perform. I feel I can personally relate to their stories having founded my own practice/firm.

Even in the beginning, I spoke in terms of "we," even though I hadn't really established my network of associates and consultants. It was partially to create a more established business presence; however, it also helped me personally as it motivated me to find those team members so I wouldn't be working in a vacuum (and have to keep disguising my voice on the phone -- just kidding!). That's what makes this PLA project so fun for me (aside from the fun, "rowdy" librarians *smile*) -- the great people I get to work with on a weekly basis.

In the sessions, we did acknowledge that it can be difficult to delegate responsibilities to new team members once you've found them. Why? Because we become very efficient when we're a team of one. We figure out very creative ways to keep all of those (red, rubber) balls juggling in the air. What's wrong with that? Well, nothing -- except that your new team members may have their own ideas about how to "juggle" and perform their tasks. In the sessions, we discuss how important it is to set people up to succeed, by providing the right resources, training and support. And, also by getting out of their way when necessary -- giving them permission to do it their way. Is this always easy? Absolutely not! But, true leaders know this and they accept the responsibility.

So, I'm "off" from PLA until the end of the month. I'm looking forward to our next event in Hershey. Until then, I'll be getting ready for the GLF Retreat in St. Maarten!

View from Sagamore Cottage

The picture probably doesn't fully capture how beautiful it is here. It's so relaxing waking up to this view, though!

On the Road Again: Training Update

I have a couple of days "down" time from traveling and I thought I'd post a few quick thoughts. BTW, it's really two days to catch up on calls, emails and laundry before hitting the road again on Sunday! I returned yesterday from Annapolis (sorry the pic was so dark) where I had a great time training a group of "rowdy" librarians -- their word, not mine ... I swear!

Thank goodness I've had the opportunity to train some energetic, enthusiastic and eager librarians and supporters over the past month. Because my travel delays have been incredible! It took me 6 hours to get to Annapolis on Tuesday -- waited at LaGuardia for almost 4 hours for a 1.5 hour flight! The reason shared by the airline -- no crew was available for my flight.

It's pretty ironic when I think of the project leadership session I lead for the librarians in which we discuss creating effective project teams. Now, if you're running an airline, wouldn't having sufficient, qualified crew members for each flight be at the top of your list??? Perhaps I'm being a bit simplistic. I understand the challenges of managing matrix organizations. However, when I (finally) arrived in Annapolis, my PLA colleagues told me they had a similar experience the night before -- a missing pilot! Does anyone else see a pattern here??

Last week, I was caught in the grounding of planes on my way back from Minneapolis and the PLA National Conference. It was pretty annoying to have to pay $75 to have the airline release my ticket so that I wouldn't spend 6.5 hours waiting for a flight that was sure to cancel. The most annoying part was that I'd left the event and missed the "spider web" closing activity with my team -- under the delusion that I could catch a midday direct flight back to New York. Yes, I know that leaders have to make the tough decisions based on the info they have available at the moment. It didn't make me feel any better, though.

I know that I'm a bit sensitive to this -- perhaps it's because my travel debacles have become one of the jokes amongst my PLA trainers and colleagues. I'm OK with the ribbing and teasing -- that's what friends do. I was concerned on Tuesday afternoon as my flight was further and further delayed that I'd miss our opening reception -- I really felt like I was on my way to a family reunion.

Well, on Sunday, I'm heading up to Bolton Landing, NY (outside Albany) -- on Amtrak! I figure that spending 2.5 hours on a train shouldn't be as bad as having another 1-hour flight delayed for a bunch of hours. Wish me luck! Our next two leadership training events are being held at the Sagamore Hotel. It will be great to meet some librarians and supporters from my home state!

View from Annapolis Marina

Have You Had a WOW! Exchange Lately?

I thought I'd pose this question after today's teleclass with Diane and other Downtown Women's Club members on Discovering Your WOW! Factor. On the call, we discussed two components of the Competent Advantage TM model that I believe are at the heart of the WOW! Factor: Leveraging Your Strengths and Creating a Buzz.

As is common when discussing the "buzz" or self-marketing, someone mentioned the fact that it can often feel like bragging. [BTW, if you can create compelling stories about your accomplishments, I don't believe it is bragging.] However, I suggested that having a team of champions (people who are familiar with your work and talents) can be helpful in promoting your accomplishments -- i.e., they can do some of the WOW! Factor storytelling for you; especially when you're not in the room.

Then, someone asked about how to stay motivated and excited by our WOW! Factors if we haven't found a way to fully incorporate them into our work. That's how the WOW! Exchange came up. I have in my core group a few people with whom I can exchange ideas, successess and challenges. We all do -- the people you can call on for a "pick-me-up" when the gremlins are wreaking havoc on your plans. One of my core Right Energy People, Lynne, is great at pointing out myWOW! Factors when we get together for our brainstorming meetings -- especially if I get caught in the trap of "Well, I didn't get to do everyhing I wanted to do last quarter.."

As of today, those brainstorming sessions will now be our WOW! Exchanges; in which we'll each start our conversation sharing things we're proud of since we last spoke or met. I'd encourage you to have similar exchanges with your trusted friends and advisors. In fact, I had the idea that InStep Consulting should have a 10th Anniversary WOW! Exchange sometime this year. Keep an eye out for more info ... would also love suggestions for a great venue to hold it ...

Finding "Me Time" in Salt Lake City

Greetings from Salt Lake City! I'm here conducting leadership training as part of my exciting new project with the Public Library Association. Over the next several weeks, I'll be helping public librarians and trustees across the country build their confidence and enthusiasm for advocacy to help fuel their efforts to increase local library funding . The event, Turning the Page: Building Your Library Community is a unique leadership development program created by PLA.

My goal is to share with you insights and ideas I gather from participants in my various sessions on enhancing project leadership; creating compelling stories; and making impactful presentations.

Some of you may remember that this isn't my first visit to Salt Lake. Back in February 2006, I visited the area on another business trip. In that post, I talked about how a change in scenery can be motivating. While I haven't had as much time to wander the city, I did feel a sense of calm as I entered the region on the plane -- the view of the mountains really has a calming effect on me.

In a recent enhancing project leadership session, we discussed the characteristics of effective leaders. After we'd developed a very comprehensive list of qualities and traits on the flipchart, one participant raised her hand and said "time for self." When I prompted her to share more, she reminded us all of how important it is for leaders to find time when we're not representing or speaking on behalf of anyone or any organization. It reminded me of our ongoing challenge to "unplug" and relax in our ever-connected world. By nature, librarians are so giving and helpful. I'm glad she was able to give herself permission to create some space for me-time.

I'm excited to share more tidbits and nuggets I gather from the library leaders and their supporters. The energy and participation levels have been great! Next week, I'll be visiting Wichita, Kansas for the first time! Until then, take care and find some me-time this weekend!

InStep Consulting is on Facebook!

Hey there! I thought I'd let you all know that I've jumped head-first into the Web 2.0, social networking sphere and launched the InStep Consulting Facebook page. It will be another way for us to connect and share stories about our personal and professional accomplishments.

It's a new world for me. But, yesterday I did a walkthrough of the page with my newest associate, Natasha, who will be helping me get things set up. I've already become a "fan" of my partner groups -- Downtown Women's Club and the JI Group and will be looking out for my other partner organizations. We'll also be posting some photos from our seminars and programs.

As with any other interactive, social networking site, the InStep Consulting Facebook page will be what you make of it! So, stop by to start a conversation on the discussion board about a career development or work-life balance issue you're facing; or post your photo and become a "fan" if you're so inclined! There's also a "share this on Facebook" link on this blog; so, you can post articles you read here for more discussion amongst your friends and colleagues.

It may be a bit of a challenge to manage all of my online sites; but, I'm hoping that the feeds from this blog will soon appear on Facebook. So, I can write to you while I'm on the road on my NEW project with the Public Library Association (more to come ...) See you on Facebook!

Discover Your WOW! Factor on March 27

Happy Saturday! I wanted to let you know that I'll be leading a teleclass on Thursday, March 27 at 12:00 noon EST for Downtown Women's Club members and friends. The focus of Discover Your WOW! Factor, will be on how to leverage your strengths and "create a buzz" about your accomplishments.

Why are these things important to your career advancement? The more you know about what you do well, the better you can position yourself for new opportunities. Tune into this teleclass to learn how to create and manage the brand called "you," an integral component to achieving your goals.

This teleclass is free to paid DWC Faces Online members. Or, to invest just $29.99 in your professional development -- register HERE. Registration for this teleclass will end on March 24th.

If you're interested in becoming a DWC Faces Online member, visit: www.downtownwomensclub.com.

I'm looking forward to chatting with you on March 27th!

Take a LEAP: Shop for InStep Tools Online!

Sorry for stretching the leap year analogy there, but I'm excited to report that the InStep Consulting Online Shop is OPEN FOR BUSINESS!

This means you can now purchase the assessments and eBook for our Career Development and Stress Management programs; and, you can book coaching sessions online too!

It's wonderful to have achieved this milestone in our anniversary year! When you have a chance, please visit: http://www.instepconsulting.com/shop.html

Take care and have a wonderful weekend! :)

We're All Connected

Hi there! My apologies for being incommunicado here for almost a month. February has been a whirlwind of meetings, events and travel -- about which I'll share in a moment.

I knew that 2008 was going to be my year of technology -- much of my hardware will need to be upgraded, and we'll be adding some e-commerce features to the InStep website soon. So, the coach has jumped on the BlackBerry bandwagon! As so many of you know, there are distinct pros and cons of being virtually accessible 24-7 (can you really unplug?). However, here are some additional quirks ...

Last week was the first trip I took without leaving an "out-of-office" message on my email server. With that came the stress of wondering whether clients expected instantaneous responses, even though I didn't want to resort to rude-BlackBerry behaviors such as checking email during meetings! [And, because I couldn't see the somewhat comforting "Sent from my BlackBerry wireless" message at the bottom of my outgoing emails -- which I hoped would convey my "on-the-road" status.]

Then, there was the BlackBerry outage they announced on the news that made me wonder whether or not there were hundreds more messages out in the ether waiting for me -- since it didn't appear that my service had been impacted.

Luckily, I was able to put aside my concerns and take advantage of my trip to Nashville and experience some of the Music City. One rewarding stop was to the Nashville Public Library -- in addition to being a fabulous high-tech facility, they are hosting several exhibits about the Civil Rights movement. Two things that struck me were the photos of Harold Lowe and an installation in one of their halls.

The second exhibit was an artistic rendition of a lunch counter (that would have been segregated) -- if you can, picture a half moon structure, with stools surrounding it. On top of the "counter" was frosted glass, and etched inside were quotes from the nonviolent training "instructions" the participants would have received (e.g., not to provoke others, not to respond to rude comments, etc.). It really brought the reality of our past into focus for me, especially as I heard an excerpt of one of Dr. King's speeches playing in the background. Could I have been so committed as to not have responded to the taunts of the agitators? Not to mention, would I have even had the courage to participate?

We are all connected, by our experiences, by our his/her stories. Let's continue to share and learn from each other!

You Deserve the Good Life - Join me in St. Maarten!

I'm very excited to announce a collaborative event with the JI Group coming up on April 23-28, 2008 in St. Maarten. The Good Life Festival & Retreat is designed for hard working professionals to rejuvenate your mind, body and soul.

As part of the Enrichment Series, I'll be leading visualization and meditation sessions based on my stress management model. I'll also offer exclusive, individual coaching on a limited basis (email or leave me a message on the message line if you're interested).

After you re-focus your mental energy, you can relax in the Good Life Spa, offering a wide range of beauty and body treatments. Or, take a dip in one of the freshwater swimming pools.

Sonesta Maho Beach is nestled on a 10-acre resort paradise overlooking Maho Bay and the Caribbean Sea on the south coast of St. Maarten, in the Netherlands Antilles.

It would be fantastic to have you join us at this uplifing, rejuvenating event. This "pearl" is a wonderful blessing for me because it supports the concept of attracting positive energy by sharing my vision for my practice with others. Might attending this event be a "pearl" for you in 2008?

If you want to learn more about JI Group (a network of talented professionals) and previous GLF events, check out their blog (they're sponsoring a contest to win a FREE event package). As always, if you have questions about my programs or coaching, leave a comment here or message on our message line. Take care and be well! :)

I'm Speaking at MLK Celebration on January 30

I'm truly honored to be the keynote speaker at a celebration in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. being held next Wednesday, January 30 at the Marriott in Bridgewater, NJ. The event is sponsored by the African Heritage Diversity Committee of HSBC Bank, USA.


The theme of the event is Share the Dream, Live the Reality -- Through Motivation, Leadership and Diversity.


In addition to being an opportunity to "practice what we preached" in our Public Speaking course for the OBT trainees, it's an exciting chance to reflect on how Dr. King's message is still relevant, thought-provoking and inspirational. If you're in the NY metro area, I'd be delighted if you can join us. Or, feel free to write or leave a comment on our message line about how Dr. King has helped you discover your competent advantage!

How Can You Recession-Proof Your Career?

Are we in a recession? I don't know -- I'm no economist. Many of you know I am a CNBC-junkie. And, there have been many guest experts debating this issue on air. What I do know is that we should be taking stock of how the "R-word" might impact our careers (and businesses, for my fellow entrepreneurs) in 2008 and beyond.

It seems to me that now would be a fine time to focus on the Know Your Market (KYM) principles of the Competent Advantage TM model. Why?

Staying on top of key trends and job forecasts in your industry will help you navigate your career if you want to make a change (or if a change becomes necessary as the market forces impact your current employer).

Do you know where are the growth opportunities within your industry? Are there pockets where companies make money regardless of a downturn in the economy? There has been some research on Careers with "Staying Power" -- there are likely suspects such as Healthcare and Internet-Based Services. Would you know how to leverage your skills and talents in these areas?

KYM also suggests that you understand how your current employer functions so that you can best prepare for internal shifts and adjustments. What do I mean? Do you know what your company does -- really? Do you understand how it makes money?

Sure, this would all be easier if you had a crystal ball and could see what lies ahead. I was asked at a recent seminar, "What should I do if I know my company plans to outsource aspects of my function?" While I would not want to underestimate the fear and other emotions that come with this realization, I would like to suggest that knowledge is power. The more you learn about your industry (e.g., growth opportunities) and your company (e.g., aspects that will be kept in-house) the better you can position yourself for the pending changes.

And, can you articulate how your strengths and contributions add value? I'll talk soon about how Creating a Buzz can be another recession-proof career strategy.

NEW Competent Advantage Message Line

Hello, I realize that you may not be a writer like me, and that you might prefer to ask questions or make comments verbally. Well, guess what? I've decided to launch the Competent Advantage TM Message Line.

You can use the Competent Advantage TM Message Line if you have:

• A question about something you've read here (or about something you've heard in one of our podcasts, teleclasses or seminars)
• A career or work-life challenge about which you'd like to gain some input or ideas
• A pearl or successful outcome that you're proud of and would like to share
• An idea for a future podcast, teleclass or seminar
• A useful source of information on career development or personal growth

Call (214) 615-6505, ext. 6717 and leave a message. I'll respond either via a post here in the community or via Gcast, on our Competent Advantage TM podcast channel.

I'm looking forward to hearing from YOU! :)

A String of Pearls for 2008

Happy New Year!
I've been agonizing a bit about what to write in this first post of 2008 ... partly because I'm alternating between writing a proposal and a capabilities presentation ... yes, I'm writing to you as my "study break!" ;-)

And, also because I felt like the first post had to be profound (you know, the coach has to share a big "A-HA!" to start off the year with a bang). I've also been wrestling with where to come down on the whole resolution thing. It's true that my coaching and training programs center around defining goals and priorities. However, we coaches know that sustainable growth comes from behavior changes that often result in small successes -- which when strung together can lead to fantastic transformations.

So, while your resolution may be to lose 25 pounds or get a new job in a given timeframe. A small, successful behavior change may be to replace your 4:00 pm candy bar with raisins or nuts -- and to do it daily so that it becomes one of your good eating habits. On the professional front, it might be to identify one new industry website or periodical -- and to read it on a weekly basis so that you stay informed about your target industry.

Neither action alone will get you to your end goal. However, when "strung together" with other good habits, you'll be surprised at the changes you'll see ... the first day the pants seem looser, or the first time you're noticed for sharing a relevant anecdote at a meeting or event.

I share this with you because I too have some medium and large goals I'd like to accomplish on the business and personal frontiers (this being an anniversary year and all). So, let's make a pact to focus on creating pearls of small successes that when strung together lead us on the way to our larger goals. What do you think?

Year-End Reflection & Outlook

Hope you're enjoying the holidays -- and perhaps getting some well-deserved R&R. December has proven to be unusually busy for us at InStep Consulting (which is a good thing!).

Christmas came a little early for us this year -- last Thursday, in fact. Our gift was the fantastic performance at the second Debate Day hosted by Opportunities for a Better Tomorrow at the Brooklyn Marriott. Once again, OBT trainees overwhelmed the audience with thoughtful, persuasive speeches on current topics such as the war in Iraq and bans on smoking in public places. Not to mention the compelling arguments presented by over 10 trainees about a fictitious negligence case in the Mock Trial portion of the event. It was so inspiring to see these youth overcome their fears and take pride in their efforts. I'm so glad we had the opportunity to help OBT incorporate public speaking into their job training curriculum.

The winter solstice (December 22) is often a time for introspection and reflection, as is the end of the year. It's particularly poignant to look back now, as 2008 will mark two related milestones -- 10 years of operating the business and 5 years of my full-time dedication to building the company. I never could have imagined back in 1998 some of the things we have accomplished, including the launch of this online community!

I believe we have developed tools and programs that align with our mission:

To help [YOU] use [your] knowledge and abilities to achieve GREAT things.

And, I'm looking forward to many more GREAT things in 2008, including the launch of our Tools page, which will enable you to purchase assessments and workbooks directly from the InStep website. Here's wishing you health, happiness and continued success in the New Year!

What Do You Want to Accomplish in 2008?

As we approach year-end, the buzz will soon move to discussions about New Year's resolutions. You know that, at InStep Consulting, we believe you will be more successful in achieving your goals if you:

1. Plan ahead
2. Create a roadmap
3. Find tools and resources to support you

To help you begin the process, we've created an online Personal & Professional Growth Survey. And, it's a win-win for both of us. Not only will it help you with goal-setting; it also will help me know what are your priorities. Then, I'll know what types of events, programs and tools to create or recommend in the coming year.

It will only take 5-8 minutes to complete; but, the return on your time investment could be significant!

NEW Podcast on Healthy Holiday Eating

Now that the year-end holiday season is underway, many of us may be concerned about keeping our fitness goals on track despite the many tempting treats we will encounter at company and association holiday parties, family dinners, gatherings with friends ... etc. You know what I'm talking about! :)

Well, last week, I recorded a podcast with Amy Rivera, a weight loss coach with Keystone Life Coaching. She is also a founding partner of BeWellLiving.com, an online resource for health and wellness. In this conversation, we talked about healthy holiday eating habits and tips to NOT offend your friends or family if their eating habits don’t coincide with yours.

Believe it or not, macaroni and cheese is one of my weaknesses. There is also a strong emotional-familial connection to that dish because it reminds me of my grandma. And, my choice to not eat meat (except fish) sometimes makes it hard to avoid overdoing it on carbs (mac/cheese, candied yams, stuffing, and/or rice). So, I will aim to practice a few of Amy's tips -- exercising before I go to Christmas dinner (pilates has become a near-habit) and eating slowly.

Listen to the podcast and let me know how you will eating healthy during the holidays!

For What are You MOST Thankful?

As we approach the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I thought I'd engage us in reflection on the things for which we are most thankful.

I am most thankful for:

• My family ... and my close friends who have become family
• My health -- which enables me to do things I enjoy (including running my business)
• My circle of colleagues/trusted advisors who keep me inspired (even when things don't go as planned)
• My opportunities and challenges -- which help me to learn, grow and inspire others

... just to name a few things. How about you?

For what are YOU most thankful?

Spending time to reflect on and acknowledge the positive, helpful aspects and people of our lives can be a great way to reduce stress. It can remind us of our sources of support (both internal and external) for when we're dealing with difficult or challenging situations.

One of my colleagues shared a link to a great site to help you examine your attitude for gratitude: Women of Spirit Online. Please enjoy the site when you have a few moments to truly reflect on the questions that will appear in the introduction.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

"You're So Articulate" and Other Non-Compliments

Hey there -- it was very ironic that a colleague sent me a link to today's DiversityInc article containing reader feedback on less-than-favorable compliments they've received. I don't know -- call it the laws of attraction or whatever, but it was a bit weird to have received the link today. Why?

Perhaps it's because I recently had a conversation with a new acquaintance about his comment to me remarking that I was "so eloquent." Our post-comment dialogue was actually quite interesting as he realized that it wasn't the most flattering or informed remark (without much feedback from me). It's rare that people who make the remarks actually pick up on how they might be perceived as offensive.

Or, perhaps it's because I returned this week from a conference celebrating 35 Years of Women at Dartmouth -- which made me recall occasional reactions of bewilderment I've received from people when I've mentioned that I attended the College on the Hill in Hanover, NH. Similar to one of the article respondents: "You went to Dartmouth? WOW, that's GREAT!" It hasn't happened in a while, but it's funny how your mind can free-associate with a certain stimulus.

I recall that I had thought of blogging about these situations when the original article appeared in DiversityInc back in 2006. I must have gotten sidetracked -- or perhaps I chickened out, since it was before the advice I received at BlogHer about being bold online and tackling the sticky subjects.

What occurred to me then, and still does today, is that our response to one of these comments in a workplace setting can sometimes become a career decision -- especially if the commenter is someone who has power/authority over any aspect of our career. I'm sure I've typically fended them off with the right degree of sarcasm or wit. But, who's to say what the real impact might have been -- especially if I didn't choose to engage the person in a Courageous Conversation (per Tim Mulvaney) to expose the elephant in the room.

While I sometimes love to play devil's advocate and challenge people to stretch their views (an oft-undervalued luxury of a coach/consultant), I'm also aware of how challenging that can be -- especially for those of us in employee roles. So, what do you think?

Have you ever received one of these compliments? If so, how did you respond?

What are YOUR Strengths?

Last Saturday, I exhibited at the first annual Essex County Health & Wellness Expo held at the Paul Robeson Center of Rutgers University-Newark Campus. It was definitely a right people, right energy event -- especialy given that providers, speakers and participants alike resisted our urges to stay inside on that rainy morning. However, by the time the clouds broke in the afternoon, we had already lifted our spirits and convened to share thoughts on how we can each improve our mind-body-spirit connection.

I thought it would be relevant to share one of the affirmation activities we participated in -- especially given we have entered fourth-quarter, a time when some may be planning for your annual performance review. Take a moment to complete three simple phrases with positive ideas to affirm your strengths and abilities:

1. I AM ... [insert positive nouns and/or adjectives that describe you]
2. I CAN ... [insert your positive skills or abilities]
3. I WILL ... [insert positive activities or tasks you will do this week to help achieve your goals]

What did you think of? How did it make you feel?

This affirmation activity aligns well with the leverage your strengths component of the Competent Advantage TM program. Ironically, a career coaching video-tip I recorded for Employ.com is now available on their website. Visit: http://www.employ.com/assets_new_index/videos/Ellis_Strength.html for more ideas on how to position your strengths in a review meeting or interview.

Thank you to all who supported our Passionately PINK for the Cure team. You can still donate at: http://www.komendonations.org/site/TR/Events/KomenTR?team_id=58260&pg=team&fr_id=1040

Are You a Savvy Online Networker?

Well, the fact that you're reading this blog means that you're savvy about gaining information from the web to benefit yourself or your career. But, how savvy are you about putting information about yourself onto the web to enhance your online presence?

Last week, I recorded a podcast with Diane Danielson, founder & CEO of Downtown Women's Club (DWC). Since it's launch in 1998, DWC has become a great online social network and in-person community (10+ US-regional chapters) for business and professional women.

Diane recently co-authored a book with Lindsey Pollak called The Savvy Gal's Guide to Online Networking -- Or What Jane Austen Would Do. She and I shared tips and ideas about online social networks ...

• Why we sometimes avoid using online social networks
• How to pick the best online networks for you
• How good "net-iquette" can improve your chances of making the right connections

Go to our Competent Advantage TM Gcast channel to listen or download the MP3!

PS -- it's not too late to support our Passionately PINK for the Cure team at: http://www.komendonations.org/site/TR/Events/KomenTR?team_id=58260&pg=team&fr_id=1040

Reminder: Wear PINK for the Cause

Hey there! It's halfway through the month of October, and I wanted to share a quick, friendly reminder for you to consider supporting our Breast Cancer Awareness project by wearing PINK sometime this month.

For each day that you wear PINK, I'd ask that you donate at least $5.00 to our Passionately PINK for the Cure team. Our site for donations is (paste the entire URL): http://www.komendonations.org/site/TR/Events/KomenTR?team_id=58260&pg=team&fr_id=1040

Since it was a bit cool here in New York last week, I was able to support by wearing my PINK pashmina scarf.

We're Helping Youth to Communicate Effectively

While October will be a month filled with exciting spa events and wellness activities, we're also involved with our leadership development programs.

On Tuesday, we kicked off another cycle of Public Speaking & Communication Skills training for youth at Opportunities for a Better Tomorrow. In April, we developed an interactive curriculum to help trainees present themselves professionally and effectively in workplace settings.

For the next 10-12 weeks, another group of OBT trainees (in Bushwick and Sunset Park, Brooklyn) will learn the essentials of effective communication to make themselves more competitive in today's job market. Once again, the PSC course will conclude with a Debate & Public Speaking event, during which trainees will demonstrate the skills they have acquired in the course.

Our facilitators stress the fact that mastering the art of public speaking at a young age is fantastic because it improves one's overall confidence. Of course, it takes a while for some to fully grasp that concept -- and get over the fear of public speaking.

So, this makes me wonder -- when did YOU overcome your fear of presenting or speaking in front of others? Or, is this an aspect of your development that you're still seeking to improve? Truth be told, I've always enjoyed public speaking (from high school Mock Trial team). Yet, I sometimes get butterflies just before major presentations. Usually, I'm able to channel that energy to help myself be "on" in the moment. What techniques work for you?

Upcoming Events on Google Calendar

I've been wondering whether or not there was an online calendar that I could easily incorporate into my blog to keep you informed of upcoming presentations, seminars and events. So, I decided today to do a Google search and there it was -- Google Calendar!

It was really easy to create and embed on the blog -- scroll down and look on the right side toolbar for UPCOMING EVENTS and the Google icon.

I've included tomorrow's Stress Awareness seminar I'll be conducting at Teachers College in conjunction with their Graduate Student Well-Being Week. Tomorrow is National Depression Screening Day. It's great that TC is being proactive about offering strategies to help students ease their stress and anxiety.

There's also registration information for our Take Back Your Time SPA ESCAPE on Wednesday, October 24, 6:30-10:00 PM at Body by Brooklyn.

Fitness Tips and Talkcast Recording Online

Hey there, I've just uploaded the recording from our Women's Health & Fitness Day Talkcast to our Competent Advantage TM podcast channel on Gcast. (Click on the Gcast icon on the right toolbar of this site)

The show was great -- when you listen, be sure to stay tuned (we didn't end after Rebecca's HYTR updates) because we got some great questions and audience interaction -- for example, have you ever tried "hot" yoga?

Some tips we discussed included:

1. Find a fitness activity you ENJOY -- you'll be much more likely to stay committed
2. Include walking into your daily routine -- to get your lunch, as part of your commute (to/from parking lot or public transportation), or with a local walking group
3. Use common household or office items/furniture for quick exercise breaks
4. Don't overdo it -- build up to longer cycles and/or faster pace routines
5. Discuss any changes or additions to your fitness routine with a qualified professional

In case you're interested in my fitness goals, I watched my pilates video this morning; and, I've signed up for a complimentary pilates mat class for tomorrow. I'm considering how I might do pilates in the morning and yoga at night ... not sure, but I'm making an effort. Thanks for helping to keep me on track! :)

Need Your Help: Wear PINK for a Cure!

Hi there, hope you had a FABULOUS weekend!

I'm writing to ask for your support of a worthy cause that has the potential to impact women around the globe. In recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness month, I've created a Passionately PINK for the Cure team on behalf of my company, InStep Consulting. This can be a fun way to support research and education by the Komen Foundation -- especially if you are a fashionista! :)

All you have to do is pick one or more days during the month of October to wear PINK. For each day that you wear PINK, I'd ask that you donate at least $5.00 to our Passionately PINK for the Cure team.

Our site for donations is (paste the entire URL): http://www.komendonations.org/site/TR/Events/KomenTR?team_id=58260&pg=team&fr_id=1040 (or click on the icon on the right sidebar)

There are 31 days in October -- 31 chances to help find a cure! Thanks so much in advance!! :)
All my best, Colette

Commit to Your Fitness Goals TODAY at 2 PM EDT

There are less than two hours until our LIVE TALKCAST on Women's Health & Fitness at 2:00 PM EDT. So, I thought I'd share my fitness goals with you (only fair, right?).

1. Review both of the Pilates and Yoga videos I have at home to see which movements I prefer (within the next week)
2. Take advantage of the FREE 1-Hour personal training session I got at my last college alumni event (call to schedule within the next two weeks)
3. Commit to engaging in one or more of the above physical activities (within the next 30 days)

Wow, putting it down here on the blog really seals the commitment. Not only because this is a public space (i.e., you can check in to keep me honest); but, because it's the actual process of writing them down. To be honest, the videos have been on the shelf for a while. One even made it on top of the entertainment center (I thought maybe if it was within my eyesight ...). I pulled out the yoga mat and put it in my living room last week. Neither of those actions worked. You see? Like I've said before; even the coach needs some accountability!

So, tell me YOUR fitness goals -- post them here, or join the talkcast and either share in the chat room or call us:

Dial: (724) 444-7444, Enter: 30294 # (Talkcast ID), Enter: 1 # or your PIN

Rebecca and I can't wait to hear from you! :)