How to Communicate for Impact: Share Your Ideas & Be Understood

In communication, many disagreements are caused by different perceptions that created different realities. It can be very frustrating thinking that you have said or done the “right thing” only to find that the person you’re communicating with doesn't see it in the same way. The good news is that when you know your own priorities, and recognize the other person’s priorities, you can reduce miscommunication and develop more productive relationships.

Everyone has a dominant priority system and communication style – behaviors that we’re more comfortable with, and use most frequently. People tend to prioritize their world based on a combination of four primary priority systems (or priosys®):

1. Process-Oriented
2. Results-Oriented
3. Relationship-Oriented
4. Recognition-Oriented

Once you understand these perspectives, it becomes much easier to recognize the associated behaviors in other people. To build rapport and facilitate better communication, you can flex your communication style and adapt your priorities to more closely align with those of the other person.

This will help to make interactions more comfortable for them – which might be counter-intuitive to how you may have previously approached communication; e.g., how can I get the other person to change? To be clear, communication style flex and priority adaptation suggests changing HOW you communicate – not suppressing your point of view, nor avoiding difficult conversations.

To learn more about how to flex your communication style or better understand priority systems (e.g., take the priosys® online assessment) contact me HERE. This article is a summary of my recent workshop for the Bergen County Professional Women's Network (BCPWN) on the same subject.

Name the Sheroes of NEW Community for Women

I believe that a solid support system is essential for women to achieve and maintain good health, optimal well-being, and a stellar lifestyle. I want to help women create the lives we really, really want.

For these reasons (and more!), I'm creating a community for women that's based on authenticity, empathy, and self-awareness. I want to use my coaching skills and the tools I've used  for my own development to benefit other women.

Not wanting to build this in a vacuum, I'm reaching out for your input and feedback. The first way you can help is easy and FUN! Help me name the She-roes of our new community! Take 4 minutes to vote on your 4 favorite names in the polls below. These she-roes will represent the four profiles through which we can learn more about ourselves as women and relate better to one another. I'll share the poll results and more info about our sister community soon! THANK YOU!

Which is your favorite girl name?

Bailey

Beth

Bianca

Brianna

Bridget

Brooke

poll generator

If you were naming a girl (baby, kitten, puppy) which name would you choose?

Gabrielle

Gail

Gianna

Gina

Giselle

Grace

Poll Maker

Your best friend asked your help naming her little girl. Which name would you choose?

Rachel

Raven

Rebecca

Rebekah

Riley

Robyn

Poll Maker

You're excited! Finally a new girl is being added to your team; and her name is ...

Yasmin

Yesenia

Yolanda

Yulia

Yvette

Yvonne

Poll Maker

Learn How to Network to Grow Your Net Worth - December 30

When you attend a networking event, are you a connector or a vampire?

If you don't know the difference between the two, then you should definitely tune in online Friday, December 30 at 8 pm ET as I share my strategic networking tips with Sophie Gold, as a guest on Life, Love & Tequila. Her co-host will be Melissa Wildstein, co-founder of 'PRENEUR.

It's been said that it's not WHAT you know but WHO you know. In today's New Normal of rapid change and pervasive technology, your challenge is figuring out how to strategically expand your network and make new, lasting connections -- fast! Sounds like an oxymoron, right? Well, with the right coaching you can learn how to tap into your network, create compelling messages that empower your connections to make the right introductions, AND know how to return the favor!

Join the event to participate live online and ask us a text question to share your biggest networking challenge or best networking success story of 2011.

Get Social! Expand Your Network on May 7

Now that it's Spring, it's time to come out of hibernation! Time to get out and socialize -- and, if you're in the New York City area, join me at the Social Events Expo on Saturday, May 7 at Sequoia in the South Street Seaport.

Come out for a fun day of networking, learning, socializing, information sharing and connecting. Meet owners of over 30 of the city's leading lifestyle companies at the Expo who will be onsite to offer brief consultations, demonstrations and mini-classes.

May 7 will be a great opportunity to learn more about my Focus on Your Vision eBook, strategic coaching programs, and my upcoming launch of a NEW holistic health collective! The Expo runs from 1:00-7:00 pm and is FREE to attend.

During the day, there also will be several themed activities to help you expand your network, including:

• Historic Brooklyn Bridge Walking Tour
• South Street Seaport Scavenger Hunt
• Latin/Ballroom Dancing Lessons
• Speed Dating

Some of the themed activities will require tickets. You can pay for your tickets at the door or eliminate the hassle and pre-pay HERE.

After the Expo, there will be a fun Happy Hour at Sequoia's Tropical Bar. Plus, a social networking dance party so you can continue connecting with all of your new friends!

If you set an intention in 2011 to expand your network, learn a new skill, or explore what New York City has to offer, come out and join us on Saturday, May 7 at the Social Events Expo. Post a comment or tweet me if you're planning to attend. Look forward to seeing you there!

NEW Podcast: Master the Art of Strategic Networking

In today's New Normal, you've probably realized that just keeping your head down, doing good work, and hoping that your efforts are noticed will not help you land your next opportunity (whether that's a new job or business lead). Networking -- or perhaps better described, relationship building -- is the "new black" in the New Normal.

So, you know that we're all connected to other people in some way -- through family, friends, neighborhoods, schools or employers. And, you know that if you talk to enough people, you'll eventually meet someone who knows the person you want to meet (and is willing to introduce you). But, in today's New Normal, who has that kind of time??

It's time that you master the art of Strategic Networking -- the process of strategically looking at your connections and creating compelling messages that empower your connections to say: "YES, I know who it is you need to meet, and YES, I want to help you meet them!"

When thinking of who in my network I could ask to shed some additional light on the subject, I could think of no better person than the Queen of Networking -- Executive Recruiter, Paula Marks. Paula, also President of Hire Resources, Inc. has been professionally connecting people to one another for over three decades. Her business network is rooted in a lifetime of successful Human Resource management, executive recruiting, and a vast rolodex of professional contacts.

In our podcast, Paula and I share tips on strategic networking, including how to craft clear, concise communications that make other people listen and want to take action -- which is to help you connect with their connections. We also share some networking pitfalls to avoid so you'll be able to maintain and deepen your most important network relationships.

After you listen to the podcast, let me know what your think -- share your networking success stories and/or lessons learned. How quickly do YOU follow-up after meeting someone new? How do YOU let a connection know that you respect his/her time when reaching out? Comment here on the blog, or tweet me your thoughts on Twitter -- @Coach_Colette.

Professional Holiday Parties - Tips to Help You to Shine

As the holiday season is now upon us, it seems timely to share some tips and ideas to help you navigate the professional holiday party scene. As I have shared many of these tips before, I thought I'd encourage you to (re)review my blog post: Tis the Season to be Jolly ... NOT for Career Folly.

You'll notice that the post was written in December 2005 (yes, I've been blogging for over four years now!). I think the tips are still appropriate; what do you think?

In today's economy, I'd probably add a few more suggestions:

• Determine which of the events will give you your "biggest bang for the buck." You'll want to budget for holiday events just as you would any other networking events. Survey all of the events in your area that interest you, and prioritize them in order of relevance to your 2010 personal/professional goals. Perhaps one well-selected "high-ticket" event will expand your network more than several lower cost ones.
• Be a connector – help others to meet relevant contacts in your network. Networking is also about what you can give -- and, 'tis the season to give! If people see you as someone who is helpful, they’ll be more likely to help you. This relates to my next tip ...
• Be conscientious about your follow-up. LISTEN more than you're speaking when you meet new people. Take note of their interests and goals. For those people with whom you'd like to stay in contact, make time to share information that would be helpful or interesting to them.
• When someone asks, “What’s new?” be prepared with an answer that might make someone say "WOW!" We all have experienced some challenges this year; and yet, inspiring stories are always good to hear. This might require some additional thought -- think of the good things that have happened this year; think of the positive people in your support circle; think of the small wins you've already achieved. I'm confident you can come up with a couple of ideas.

Please share your thoughts, ideas and other survival tips here on the blog or tweet me @Coach_Colette.

And, BEST WISHES to you and yours for a

HEALTHY, HAPPY, JOYFUL, ABUNDANT HOLIDAY SEASON!

How Do You Keep Your Brand On the Grid?

What are you doing to keep your brand - personal or professional - on people's radar? Given that we're all being bombarded with messages from so many sources, how do you keep people in your network informed (but not overwhelmed) about your goals?

I'd invite you to listen, download and share my latest podcast called: How to Stay on the Grid: Networking 2.0. This is a discussion with Adrian Miller, President & Founder of Adrian Miller Sales Training.

In this podcast, we discuss the new rules of the game of networking 2.0 - which is about more than just using various social media tools, like Twitter or Facebook. Adrian and I talk about the difference between linear and circular networking, and explain which approach can be more effective in helping you to become a true connector. And, when you listen, you'll find out why being a connector is a crucial component to your personal and professional success.

So, take a listen and get some concrete tips on how to take your networking skills to the next level. You may also want to read an interesting article on Identifying Your Networking Strengths and Weaknesses by Ivan Miser.

After you have listened to the podcast and read the article, share your networking success stories - tweet me or post them in the comments.

Coach Colette Gets Canned on December 16th!

OK, now that I have your attention, let me tell you about an exciting career and social networking event on Tuesday, December 16, from 7:00 - 10:00 PM called Get Canned.

Get Canned is a charitable, social networking event to help you expand your contacts and discover your next professional opportunity in 2009. It will be held at e l e m e n t, a funky venue in lower Manhattan.

Being laid off, or 'getting canned,' rarely has a positive side to it; but, Get Canned takes a positive spin and embraces the theme - collecting canned goods for the Food Bank for New York City in place of a cover charge to attend the event.

Coach Colette is IN!

I'll be on hand in the Elevation Lounge to answer your questions and offer complimentary laser-coaching sessions. Get the guidance and support you need to face (and embrace) your career transition! One lucky raffle winner will win a FREE CAREER COACHING PACKAGE!

You CAN do it – I did!

Nearly six years ago, I found out that my position would be eliminated because of a company merger. Ironically, that was my second "downsizing" experience within 13 months! The way I saw it, I had two choices [now I know there were many others too!]:

1. Attempt to find another job

2. Attempt to sell my skills on the “open market” as a consultant

What did I do? I leveraged my contacts and skills, and chose the latter option. I’ve spent the past six years building my consulting and coaching practice to the level it is today. Come to Get Canned on December 16 to learn how you too can transition into success in 2009!

Healthy mind -- healthy body -- healthy career!

Equinox Fitness will have personal trainers onsite to answer your questions and help plan your 2009 fitness routine. They're donating a FREE MEMBERSHIP pass to the raffle!

Join me on Tuesday, December 16 at element for Get Canned!

Register TODAY and stop by to say hello. Don't forget to bring two non-perishable canned food items for FREE admission!

In Topsy-Turvy Times, Focus on Your Spheres of Control

I received a message today from a colleague that mirrors the topsy-turvy nature of our times -- everyone seems to be wondering: "How the events on Wall Street affect me and my career?" As an eager, soon-to-be-entry-level-employee, she's concerned about being able to secure a stable position upon graduation. I'm hoping she doesn't put all of her "eggs" in one basket (i.e., only targeting the firm at which she interned last year).

While a certain degree of concern is normal, I coached her to not get too distracted by the external events -- of course, not to bury her head in the sand either! Know Your Market is a key Competent Advantage component. I encouraged her to focus on aspects of her search that are within her sphere of influence and control:

• Professional Collateral - having an updated CV/bio that can be shared at a moments notice. What specific experiences can be highlighted given the current turn-of-events? What key skills are especially relevant right now in your target company/industry? How can you show you've mastered them?


• Personal/Professional Network - using your inner circle to help get to the people you want to meet. What Web 2.0 resources can be tapped (e.g., social networking sites)? How can you access people in different ways: cross-functionally, across organizations/industries?


• Plan "B" - considering other roles/companies/industries if your current target is in a restructuring stage. Who else would value the skills/talents you bring? How can you use your network to identify key contacts and information?

What do you think? What strategies are you using to navigate the career landscape these days?

Sell Yourself into your "Dream Job!"

On the first birthday of Competent AdvantageTM, I’m excited to launch a NEW FEATURE for our online community. Each month, one of my HR colleagues will give us an “inside scoop” on career development and transition strategies.

Our first HR professional to share her views is Karen Robinson, Account Manager with Career Blazers, Inc. Career Blazers offers Temporary Staffing, Legal Staffing and Permanent Placement services to Fortune 500 companies in the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic regions of the United States.

Since January 2003, Karen has managed recruiting for Career Blazers’ premier clients. (Think financial services, advertising, and other leading industries!) Karen describes recruiting as a “puzzle” – the client has one piece, the candidate another. She enjoys helping make the pieces fit together. Blazing her own trail in staffing and recruiting since 1992, Karen knows a thing or two about how to position oneself during a job search or career transition.

Here are Karen’s TOP 10 Suggestions to “Sell Yourself into Your Dream Job!”:

1. Network, network, network – in creative environments so that you can practice telling your story in a relaxed environment.
2. Join and participate in organizations – be active so that you can be noticed for your talents and “competent advantage.TM”
3. Identify the trends and changes in your field of interest.
4. Incorporate visualization into your life. – If you can see it, it will become your reality.
5. Research, research, research – identify competitors, latest news or anything that will give you an “educated edge.”
6. Set goals – daily, weekly and monthly to help you plan ahead.
7. Incorporate time management into everything you do.
8. Have a current reference letter from a former supervisor or someone in upper management that highlights your accomplishments.
9. Go on “Interview Runs” – Seek out opportunities to practice your interviewing skills, especially if you have been out of the market for a while.
10. Once you “land,” spend the first few weeks getting the lay of the land. – Figure out who’s who, how the team works, and how upper management handles team relations.

So, what do YOU think? Have you tried any of these strategies? Which ones have worked best for you?

It's hard to pick the best one, but I rely a lot on # 5 – research. With all of our gadgets and technology, you can stay on top of trends in your industry in so many ways! It’s important during a search or transition to demonstrate how you can add value to an organization (using your skills and competencies). Staying aware of “in-demand” skills in your industry will help you know which previous experiences to highlight in an interview, or what training you might seek to improve your proficiency.

Thanks, again, to Karen for sharing her tips with the Competent AdvantageTM community!

How will you step out of your "comfort zone" in 2006?

New Year’s is a time for both planning and reflecting. In our last post, we mentioned why it’s important to document our career highlights and low-lights. So, now I’m going to challenge you a bit.

What will you do differently in 2006 to advance your career objectives?

Sometimes it’s easy to coast, to take the familiar road on our way to professional success. There’s a somewhat famous expression (I apologize for not being able to reference the source) about the definition of insanity – doing the same thing, in the same way and expecting different results.

What will you do differently? I have a couple of thoughts or ideas – how about:

• Sitting with a new group of people at lunch (which could be a way to expand your network)
• Taking on a leadership role in a professional association (which could create a “safe space” to try out new skills)
• Learning to speak a different language or use new software (which could increase your marketability)

These are just a few examples. What do you have in mind?? Come on, I dare you!

‘Tis the season to be jolly … not for career folly!

So, it’s that time of year again – holiday parties sponsored by your company and/or professional associations. With good sense and foresight, these events can be excellent venues for you to demonstrate your competent advantage.TM

Here are some tips to help you be the "life of the party," but NOT the subject of post-event gossip.

Before the event:

• Get a feel for the mood and expectations for the party. Do people dress up or is business attire more appropriate? Regardless of the official attire, you should always dress to impress.
• Will there be any announcements or formal activities? And, if so, when will they occur? The last thing you want to do is stroll into the room just as your President or CEO is making his/her holiday toast!

During the event:

• Watch your food and alcohol consumption. Have fun, but be careful not to overindulge. This is NOT the party for you to demonstrate how many tequila shots you can drink or how many cocktail shrimp you can eat!
• Take notice of who attends the event. In addition to chatting with coworkers, look for ways to informally connect with managers or executives. It’s not necessarily the place to give a long speech about why you deserve a raise or promotion. However, you should always be prepared to give a 30-second pitch about your role in your organization. Be sensitive to their desire to talk about business. Parties can be great occasions to discuss hobbies and other interests that identify otherwise unknown commonalities.
• Be aware of your surroundings. Take notice of when the party starts to wind down. Why? Well, do you really want to be around when the cater waiters are clearing the tables and putting up chairs? Remember, you don’t have to go home but …

After the event:

• Make sure you have a safe mode of transportation for the evening.
• If you do happen to connect with a new colleague, make an effort to reach out via phone or email within a couple of days. Expanding your network at holiday parties is a great way to leverage your competent advantage.TM
  

BEST WISHES FOR A HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON!