How to Be Assertive Without Causing Tension or Stress

Did you know that 1 in 3 women law partners have felt uncomfortable when discussing their worth to negotiate their compensation? It's no wonder since (according to a 2010 MCCA & Partner for Attorney Retention survey) 30% have experienced intimidation, threats, or bullying to back down after they disputed the allocation of business origination credits.

These shocking statistics made me jump at the chance to help women lawyers reduce interpersonal tension and miscommunication by leading my seminar for the Women in the Profession Committee of the New York City Bar Association: Communicate for Impact! How to Use People Styles to Hone Your Skills ... and Get Results!

In the above pic, I'm discussing the potential impact of non-verbal behaviors on how well your message is received and understood by others. While communication isn't an exact science, there have been numerous studies about how our communication behaviors and habits impact the quality of our interactions and relationships.

Bolton & Bolton's People Styles model suggests there are four styles based on your level of assertiveness, ("the degree to which your behavior is seen by others as being forceful or directive") and your responsiveness ("the degree which others see you as showing your emotions and an awareness of other people's feelings").

We had a rich discussion in the seminar as the women shared their experiences of how they had been perceived (perhaps judged?) in the workplace along a passive - assertive - aggressive continuum of assumed inner capabilities. And, there were a few A-HA! moments as we began to discuss assertiveness as a set of behaviors (e.g., gestures, eye contact, movement, posture, and voice volume/speed) -- as they began to realize that they can adjust how they behave/communicate -- or flex their style -- in different situations to make their interactions more productive [HINT: it's about making the other person feel comfortable].

These are the kinds of communication breakthroughs I love witnessing from my clients because the impact can be so broad -- not just for your relationships but for your health. According to the Mayo Clinic, learning to be more assertive can help coping with issues such as depression, anorexia, bulimia, and social anxiety disorder!

Are you ready to be more assertive and get better results in 2012? Now is the time to boost your self-confidence, improve your decision-making skills, and overcome barriers in your critical relationships. Sign up for one of my Communication Breakthrough Coaching programs so you can earn more respect, and create more honest, productive relationships this year.

Cyber Monday 2011: Save 20% on VIP Coaching Days

What dreams could you manifest in 2012 with better health and better communication?

The possibilities are endless! Even better, you can save 20% on a VIP Coaching Day to help you get started when you sign up on Cyber Monday, November 28!

Have you ever wondered why others fail to achieve their big dreams and goals? Studies have shown that 83% of people hit barriers in the process -- sounds about right -- here's the kicker: these people aren't working with a coach to get accountability and support, so when their own efforts don't work out, they typically GIVE UP!

Do you want to be part of the 17% of people who WILL achieve their goals in 2012? Get a jumpstart on your 2012 dreams and reserve your private VIP Coaching Day.

Your VIP Coaching Day gives you dedicated, individual access to me online for a half-day. This targeted timeframe means we'll get right down to business to pinpoint your most significant health or communication challenge, and come up with positive, proactive solutions that you can start using right away!

You have two options for a VIP Coaching Day:

1. Communication Breakthrough VIP Day: to exude confidence and rock your next business meeting or interview by mastering techniques like body language, assertiveness, and people style (not fashion, but how others view the way you communicate)
2. Healthy Habits - Healthy Minds VIP Day: to live a brilliant, radiant lifestyle without tension and anxiety by incorporating habits like meditation, affirmations, and chakra clearing

Save up to $200 on this one-day holiday sale: when you sign up online at Betterfly.com ONLY on Cyber Monday, November 28!

Remember, it's important to plan your 2012 personal growth and development activities. Why not treat yourself to a ME-TIME gift this holiday season! Know that I'm rooting for your success now and in the coming year.